Love Impressions From Hyperspace - Mind And Body And Dreams And ?

Discussion in 'Abraxasinas' started by admin, Aug 15, 2019 at 8:43 AM.

  1. admin

    admin Well-Known Member Staff Member

    - Posted Oct 7th 2012

    Love Impressions from Hyperspace - Mind and Body and Dreams and ?

    1. The Catwoman in the Garden of Love! (July 1988)

    The sun was shining brightly, and the midsummer's heat could be felt everywhere. The farmer's harvest was completed, and the haystacks decorated the landscape of cut grass and a land which had given its produce.
    In the distance a small collection of trees, a tract of maybe a dozen conifers formed an inviting place of shade and peacefulness.
    I made my way towards this green oasis to perhaps find some water for refreshment and to rest my weary body from the exhausting heat and my long toil of the day.
    As I reached the setting, I noticed that the trees formed an enclosure about a most exquisite garden, full of colour, smell and sound.
    The fragrances of flowers became harmonised by the melodies of all kinds of birds and otherworldly tunes permeated the serene atmosphere of this most idyllic place.
    Where was I? I pondered my experience and concluded that this must be the place of refuge for the farmer-god, the keeper of the land which had just been harvested.

    I sat down and observed the peaceful bubbling of a natural fountain in the middle of the garden when I became aware of a black cat which was looking at me just across the little well of water.
    "What is a scientist doing in my garden?", "she" said suddenly.

    A little bit baffled by this speaking cat, I gave a stuttered reply:
    "Ah, I am not one of the general sort of scientist. I am not really a materialist and I try to give meaning to analytic science in spiritualizing reason and thought."

    As soon as I had said it, I became bemused by my apologetic preponderances. I was a visitor in this garden and as this cat could talk, some kind of magic or astral dimension would form this reality. Was I dreaming or had I left my body?
    "She" turned "her" head knowingly and still looking at me, the feline asked: "What is your greatest LOVE of all? And What are you?"
    I said, that my LOVE was LOVE itself and that therefore I myself had to be LOVE in my true essence.
    "She" seemed to be pleased with my response.

    The cat transformed itself into a most beautiful woman, retaining however "her" feline nature and essence.
    "She" then moved closer and began to gently run her long fingernails down my cheeks, resulting in the most sensual nervous vibration of. my inner being.
    My exuberance increased, as "she" began to rub "her" body against mine and I experienced sexual desires and expectant fulfilments never before realised.
    Just as I started to truly enjoy this exhilarating exchange of energies and just as I envisaged what an actual sexual merger with this wonder woman would feel like; I awoke to my mundane physically aware consciousness.

    2. My Visit of Hell - Another Kind of Dantean Inferno! (August 1995)

    Robert Sceptico: "And with the 'Presence of Jesus', the Mosaic Law became reinterpreted as the 'Logos of the Spirit' and allowed Paul to write in 2Corinthians.3.6; "for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life".

    "Logan Antico: "This reinterpretation of the scriptures in the light of omniscience surely takes the proverbial 'evil monkey' off the back of the 'Good LORD' also manifesting as the 'Evil LORD' relative to the beholder of the experiences.
    Did I ever tell you the story of my own individual 'visit of hell'; it wasn't quite as dramatic as 'Dante's Inferno', being coloured so much by my personal colourings of omniscience and gnosis?"

    Robert Sceptico: "I can't recall you ever telling me that story, Logan."

    Logan Antico: "Ok then, I feel such a personally coloured account of the 'eternal damnation' is appropriate to the subject matter we are discussing; what of witches, necromancers and sorcerers and the like.

    "It had been a long day of thought, meditation and writing back in July 1995.
    I had realised that the nature of the gods was one of merging opposites in oneness.
    Specifically, I had become aware, for the first time, that one's biological body served the higher purpose of recombining something lost at the beginning of space and time.
    The only thing that really mattered in anyone’s life was how to perceive one’s own consciousness - the sense of being alive and the knowing of 'me'.
    It is the thought that counts; what you think that you are, or one creates one's own reality through projecting one's thoughts.
    So not knowing or remembering what you are leads to the confusions of everyday life.
    The question becomes of how to remember and how to get in touch with the thing inside.
    Since confusion breeds confusion and more of the same becomes fear and doubt and ends in despair and hopelessness; the grail of hope would become an adventure of self-discovery.
    All this I had realised and had put into words of hope in an attempt to clarify the situation.

    But I was still restless.
    It is easy to say to become centred is the way to be; but the practice of it is very hard unless you live in a cave as a hermit and are isolated from the razzamatazz of screaming voices and the
    blahblah-blah of a multitude of diverse channels of communication.
    The harmonies of music are a miraculous tonic for the ailment of cacophony.
    The superimposed waveforms of longitudinal atmospheric pressure variations seem to tranquilize a tortured mind in the search of silence and understanding.
    What is perceived as melody, rhythm and harmony merges with the monopolar electricity
    generated in one's brain, say in the beta waves of 13-28 cycles, responsible for the front-brain activity of conscious thought and analysis.
    When this beta activity slows down, the alpha waves from about 8-12 cycles induce a more relaxed, meditative state, with the Earth's own 'Schumann Frequency' being given by the number of light cycles around the perimeter of the planet as a lower limit to the alpha cycle.

    For an equatorial perimeter of 40,000 kilometers, the Schumann-Frequency is 40,000/300,000=2/15), also coded in Revelation.14.20 & 22.16 as the ratio of (1,600 furlongs/12,000 furlongs) and as the mysterious 'measure of God's winepress outside the gate' as compared to the 'golden reed measure of the angel inside the holy city' and as applied by the prophet John, as per the code Revelation.11.1-2 - the 'inside' so is the 'body of the dragonomy' symbolised in the 'body of the earth' or the individuated 'end time prophecies' superimposed upon the collective racial history.
    The autonomous nervous system relaxes below about 8 cycles in the state of sleep in the theta cycles and a frequency approaching 0 sets the delta cycle with physical death occurring at a zero frequency, manifesting in a resetting of individual L-C-Factors as function of that frequency.
    There are periods of sleep, when the physical consciousness subsides completely and the 'dreaming state' of REM-sleep, characterised by Rapid-Eye-Movement, allows the subconscious self, defined in the L-C-Factor couplings. to assume the place of a relaxed alpha state.

    This subconscious awareness surfaces in the experience of dreams, out-of-body 'journeys' and other 'astral' endeavors of the twin soul of the Ka. The Ka is the shadow-soul and defined in the base perfect DNA, as the super sexual coupling of the pre-dragonomic chromosomes in omnispace. In other words, there is a 'genetic base perfect bodyform' into which the embryo develops in its natural differentiation into male or female sexual definition.
    All the prenatally defined 'perfection' is always carried by the developing body form, notwithstanding disability, congenital deformity or physical 'accidents' or disease , including the ageing process, experienced by the physical body form during its 'physical lifecycle'.

    A 62-year old woman say, may dream of herself in a younger 26-year old body form and this experience is as real in omnispace as the waking state of the woman in her self awareness within linespace; the difference being the voluntary decision of the woman's 'soul' (magnetopolar electricity of capacitance coupled to electropolar magnetism of inductance) to experience 'herhis' 'perfect' body form in omnispace as an 'imperfect' body form in linespace, allowing however the graduation of the latter into the former after an infinite elapse of linear time, being mapped onto 'now-time' in the omnispace.

    All my life had I tried to realize this astral world in an analytic way, but I was not prepared to get the answers, relative to my own intellectual satisfaction, in the way of my own 'hell' as I did.
    Yes, I had asked questions before; such as how does the light body penetrate walls, or what does it feel like to fly? But with my new realization as to the requirement to spiritualize the physical body; I induced some harmony, in listening to peaceful music and began to think about how to visit my own body through my imagination. All this beta wave activity did not however lull me to sleep, as it had done so many times before.

    I thought about how the collective spiritual atmosphere of planet Earth is obstructed by all those thoughtforms of death, decay and misery; when suddenly I found myself within my own realm of perception in regards to that very same subject matter. There I was completely awake, and it did not matter if I had my eyes shut or not. Incredible colours and shapes and beings came to be; yet subject to whatever I desired to think or ponder about.

    I created my own scenarios and just as I pleased.
    I truly was the landlord, the king in my own castle.
    So there I was; colours all around me and ready to be shaped.
    I decided to let things shape themselves, just to experience what would eventuate.
    It was a dark place but filled with very rich colours, otherworldly colours really; spiritual reds and blues and greens, mixed to give any other colours in the astral omnispace.
    So it was dark and yet very colourful.

    ]I knew instinctively that what I experienced was my own underworld, my own hell and how my 'higher self' imagined hell to be, created from my thoughts and experiences gathered since the beginnings of space and time.
    But for the first time I really experienced in linear consciousness what it was like to walk the corridors of hell and as confined within your own body form or yourself in space confinement.

    And so I began my 'Dantean Journey' through the inferno of my own mind and thoughtfulness.
    I was dressed in a kind of Roman toga when I descended some steps into a greater hall, one of many halls, towards many clearances and gatherings of a multitude of creatures: little devils, demons and familiars were swarming about everywhere.

    The feeling I experienced, was one of hilarity, a kaleidoscope of colour and movement, infused with a sense of funniness.
    Just as I entered one of those greater halls, which was bathed in an all pervading orange glow and reflected in the creatures, some of the little demons started to pull on my toga. They were little devils, about 50 centimeters tall and they attempted to look very menacing; grimacing at me and about ten of them rather frenziedly pulled and tore on my toga. Whenever I gave them a stern look, they scattered in all directions, waiting for me to become complacent and tolerant again.
    Aha, I thought, when you get annoyed then they fear you; your tolerance of them is their life; you are like a lollyman just in your presence, allowing them to be near you. To describe the creatures I saw is no easy thing; they are anything the producers and creators of Hollywood have ever imagined, yet they are more vibrant and more alive than anything which could be imparted onto a screen or computer simulated videotape.

    There are many mixtures of animal creatures; some are half toad and half fish, others are troll-like and others are gargoyles, dragons, krakens and all the mythological beasts are there. If you like to see a creature made up of various sorts; you can create this creature by thinking about it and then project your realization into colour and it materializes with a life of its own. Anyway, I started to have fun in my mythological hell.

    The greatest and richest forms 'down there' are of a sexual and religious nature.
    I did not encounter violence of any sort; maybe because my higher self does not like it.
    I tried to imagine some really horrible things like human torture or suffering children, people or animals, but it could not be done. There seems to be a safeguard in your own hell.

    It is meant to be a funny place, well relative to me that is certainly the truth. You can experience a 'hell of hilarious laughter' and have lots of 'funny' sexual encounters there; but the sense of true suffering and the experience of being horrified are missing. I tried hard to relive something like a painful torture like the crucifixion; but there is a big blank in your imagination and everything turns from pain to joy in becoming humorous. Now religious symbolism is extremely strong 'down there'.

    Everywhere you might project a thought, you might see groups of creatures pushing wagons carrying big wooden crosses around, in an attempt perhaps, to frighten the 'living hell' out of those unsuspecting minds, pondering expectations of 'hellfire' and of 'eternal damnation'. At one instance there was this group of toad demons attempting to crucify this 'poor little green frog'. Like following a movie script, they laid down a little wooden cross and proceeded to spread the frog into all fours. After they had 'nailed' the frog onto the cross and had erected the cross; the frog simply moved its extremities and 'popped' off the cross and hopped away. To me it seemed like everything, all substance was extremely malleable and subject to thought. Hence the frog simply played the game and when it became 'bored' or 'annoyed' with its role, it just left the stage of play in the theatre.
    There were no screams of agony or pain, just a seeming seriousness on behalf of the devils and the mirrored hilarity or funny side to that relative to everyone else.

    I proceeded on my exploring journey and came along this covenant of witches. Some of those witches were old and others were young; they were all naked and all of them were rather nice to look at. When they saw me, they became very excited and wanted to have sex with me. So they paraded themselves around this big cauldron and exhibiting their fleshly naked glory, they began playing with their breasts and vulvas, inviting me to join with any or all of them in 'hellish ecstasies' of erotic plays and games of sexual pleasures. All this release of sexual potential energy had attracted other little sex demons, which had swarmed all around me. Most of them had phallic erections, relative to their size and they began to pull on my toga again.
    So I took off my toga and being naked underneath, I investigated my response to all those sexual titillations.

    To my surprise, the sexual impulse is somewhat different in the astral reality of omnispace.

    There the sexual feeling, the eroticism is of paramount importance and the actual sexual merger plays a subsidiary role. I became sexually aroused and my phallus grew into a magnificent erection, but for some strange reason I did not desire to physically merge with any of the witches or the sexy devils.
    Looking at all those naked embodiments of my own sexual potential energy; there seemed to occur an unification, a flowing together of all the various naked female bodies for instance. The naked witches began to merge within a superimposed female form, individuated to become a sort of perfect sexual complementary match for my own male sexual definition.
    The more this superfemale and individuated archetype would crystallize from the misty fusion of all the other female and male characters in the picture; the harder my erection would become; seemingly wishing to burst in a superlative expression of lust and overpowering desire to be as one with my own personalized archetype of the Goddess and Mother of them all.

    All the sexy demons and all the witches became 'our' children and I understood the spiritual or higher dimensional notion of monogamy to be one of the 'Sacred Family' wherein all other potential sexual partners are absorbed within your 'perfect match' the mirror of your own reflected self of the dragonomy. But in changing the parental perception, the monogamy would transfer in a polygamy of non-exclusivity and the ultimate necessity for the freedom of the spiritual self expression of the soul.

    A magnificent naked witch for example would become reflected in 'my Goddess' and my potential sexual partnership with that witch would realize in 'my Goddess' and mirror itself in the erotic 'turn on' of imagining the naked witch to have sex with 'her God' in the form of any of my 'brothers'.
    There seems to be a magnificent sexual stimulatory potential in one's eroticized attuned mind. In that way would my sexual relationship with my Goddess empower and become empowered in the naked witch having intercourse and sexual communion with the image of myself in one of my brothers 'in the spirit of the EMMR'.

    At the same time however, any physical sexual relationships between myself and any other potential goddess would become a function of 'sexual maturity' and a question of 'wholeness'. Your own body would either psychophysically suppress or engage a natural erotic function in response to external erotic stimuli coupled to an internal evaluation process of appropriateness in terms of holistic harmonisation.
    Ah, if just the Roman participators in their orgies would have understood the unified perspectives - their devolution into banal and spiritually boring decadence could have been avoided in the sacred geometries of tantric eroticisms and group empowerment; I giggled to myself.

    And then I understood the wisdom sayings about there being no marriage in heaven. The evolved starhuman body form would be unable to harbor the idea of sexual- or any other form of ownership, of possessing one's partners in exclusivity. The sexual ownership became one's own dragonomy as one's own androgyny of the 'Lake of the Anima Fire and of the Animus Brimstone in the bisexual coupling of oneself as the Cosmic Hermaphroditicus.

    So I discovered a very potent form of sexuality; your sexual organs respond to your thoughts and the male sexual expression can be satisfied without ejaculation; any emitted semen and vaginal secretions assuming a sacred nature in the 'manna from heaven', able to rejuvenate the body of the man and the body of the woman in the giving and the receiving of the sexual totipotent stem cellular units of biological life.

    Once this sexual state of self awareness can be sustained, the androgynous bisexual mind is born in the unification within and the goddess part of the dragonomy in the man and the god part in the woman can express itself without ambiguity.
    So in the setting of my journey through hell; I could easily change my sex and walk around as my female part, imagining myself as that gorgeous rounded female form, with an accommodating voluptuous vulva, well developed and succulent breasts and curved and tantalizing buttocks. Then I could have fun in teasing the little sex demons with their curved penile erections, just in wiggling my bottom or accidentally pulling my toga up with nothing on underneath. The sight of my satin soft pubic hair about my throbbing pelvic region would send the sexy devils masturbating frenziedly and they would simply forget to manipulate the puerile human minds with their angsts and fears about the 'evilness' of sex in the 'Presence of God'.

    So I decided to turn the 'Devil's Game' around and instead of some 'He-Devil' Incubus seducing the ignorant female part of creation in the womanhood; being in the 'Devil's kingdom of hell' I would play the 'She-Angel from heaven' as a Succubus and rendering my heaven as a heaven hell and transforming my hell into a hell heaven.

    So I went for the lookout for the 'big master devil' the one with the gigantic phallus and as the 'big hang-up of the human masculinity expressed in perceived inadequacy'. In seducing him to have a huge erection in a devilish lust to enter my satin haired yonic vulva; I would induce a harmony between my heavenly Mindbody and my hellish Bodymind.

    But maybe I needed more preparation before meeting the ultimate id of my own alter ego. In just strolling around in your own hell without using your own mental creativity and imagination, you can encounter any of the zillions of thoughtforms which have ever been thought since the beginnings of space and time.
    You can tap into the sexual and other fantasies of Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, Napoleon Bonaparte and Adolf Hitler. You can find out what Cleopatra felt, when she played sexual politics with Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony; you can also share in the sexual deprivations of sequestered monks and nuns, unable to come to terms with their natural and divine natural instincts, mentally distorted. You can share in the poverty of a Polish ghetto, where the warmth of two bodies cuddled together in sexual intimacy is coloured by a constant fear of being apprehended, tortured, interrogated and killed.
    Or you can tap into the feelings of a joined couple, residing in a single room with a dozen or so children, without privacy, impoverished in all material necessities, producing yet another child in the circumstances of their disempowerment.

    But the potency of sex and religion is linked and you can have so much fun with it in intellectual terms in hell, precisely because it is so powerful as a result of the human paranoia and the taboos about it.
    It was the human 'sinfulness', its ignorance about the nature of the creation and its creator, which did create the 'evilness of sex' and the abyss of perceived incompatibility between sex and the religious life through the agency of the human mind, trapped in spiritual immaturity.

    And so I decided to meet the 'big monsters' in my female form. I cut my toga into a mini-toga, which would expose parts of my buttocks when I would slightly twist my torso and lift one of my legs. I rubbed some perfumed oils all over my body, imagined myself with medium length shiny locks and put on just a minimum amount of pink lipstick to enhance my green-blue eyes. As I walked past a kind of lagoon I noticed a whirlpool in the water, a swirling vortex, seemingly growing in intensity, when suddenly a great sea monster pushed upwards into the dark ceiling of the cavernous enclosure which harbored the lagoon.
    It appeared in the form of the mythological Kraken, the Reptilian Titan of the sort encountered by Perseus in his rescue of Andromeda with help of Pegasus, the winged horse and the severed head of the Medusa, the serpentine gorgon of the Greek legends.

    The kraken was the size of a two storey house with a huge head with the canine fangs of a wild giant hog and a scaly fish-like torso - the Reptilian Overlord of the pre-Olympian pantheon of Greece.
    As it had settled, it began to look about with saliva driveling from its half opened mouth. I waved my hand at it to catch its attention and walked to the edge of the lagoon, enticing it to come closer and to have a look at me. The kraken bent down and opened its huge jaws right in front of me. I could see the seaweed between its teeth, and I could smell a nauseating stench emanating from the Kraken's throat and stomach. Nevertheless, I lifted my mini-toga to unveil my female nakedness, remembering that Andromeda was to have been a sacrifice to the Kraken, which I presumed to have been of a sexual nature.

    But the sight of my inviting satin-curled triangular pubic hairiness had no effect on the Kraken, it apparently was not interested in the devouring of sexual potential energy.
    Well, I thought Andromeda must have been a food-sacrifice to placate the Kraken. So I dropped my mini-toga and projected the thought of walking right into the Kraken's mouth, descending down into its stomach and cleaning it out with any cleansing agent I could imagine, but including caustic soda and hydrogen peroxide.

    The Kraken began to tremble, it shot upwards, in the process slamming its clawed right hand before its shut mouth and spiraled quite hilariously back into the depth of the swamp from which it had emerged.
    Now this could not have been my 'master devil' I thought; it had no sexual comprehension whatsoever and I recalled of not having noticed any sexual organs protruding from the Kraken at all.
    And so I continued to look for a 'well-hung' master devil, whom I could seduce, walking along the 'corridors of hell'.
    I became more and more adventurous and decided to mentally create a setting of meeting not one, but three master devils, one of whom would become my sexual conquest. I had to hide my true mental intent, and so I shapeshifted into my male form and thought of a setting of a game of cards with the three archdemons, followed by a decisive game of chess. If I did not like the winner of the poker game, then I could disqualify him in beating him at chess. Furthermore I set the necessary mental boundary conditions into place, so as not to allow my creative impulses to get out of my mental hand.

    Being in mental control can become a bit boring, so I decided to allow things to develop in a 'mouse catch cat' scenario, where I would not know the identities of the archdevils from the start, but a random distribution would assign the statistical weights relative to the final outcome, which I did predetermine as my sexual seduction of that master devil, who could beat me in the chess game.

    And because the omnispacial reality, which I attempted to realize within a personal setting was archetypically the same as my detailed colouring of the circumstances encountered; the game of uncertainty could be played, the uncertainty in linespace being however anchored in fundamental physical laws of nature's principles, converging in the unity of the one in all and the unity of the all in the one in the undifferentiated omnispace mirroring my mental experience.
    As soon as I had finished my thoughts about the perimeters; I noticed a spiral stairway leading down to another level of the 'hellish' landscape. I descended down the staircase and entered a small room with a fireplace, a small table and four chairs.

    Here were three creatures of my own size, all dressed in darkish red costumes, perhaps a kind of standard outfit, of what a 'humanized devil' should look like and as thought about throughout the centuries and millennia I pondered. Anyway, the colours were too uniform for me and I applied my creative license and thought about changing their attire. One I left as a reddish devil with two little horns coming out of his head; one other I gave a black outfit reminiscent of the Middle Ages, with a large and flat black hat and the other I dressed in a golden-yellow Spanish baggy crepe' outfit with black vertical stripes and a hat adorned with long white and brown feathers.

    The three master demons were standing near the entrance and I introduced myself as E.M. as in Emmanuel Melchisedec, trying to look very seriously. They introduced themselves as Asmodeus, Belial and Beelzebub I; the latter saying that they had been advised of my visit by one of their oracles and that the omen specified that a visitor from the overworld of Shamballa would bring great knowledge and a great treasure to the underworld of Agartha.

    I was pleased with that development, I quickly filled in some gaps, in explaining, that the oracle had been correct and that the great treasure was found in an overworld princess, who would descend into the underworld of Agartha to refertilize the stagnating gene pool in the kingdom of hell.
    I produced a picture of myself as the naked female sex-goddess and showed it to the three archdemons who got all excited looking at the picture of my naked female glory.
    I then took the liberty to glance at the crotches of the three to judge the size of their Phalluses, but whilst I witnessed three growing bulges, I could not differentiate their magnitudes as appropriate scaling for the differing sizes for the Yonis of the Goddesses of Shamballa.
    I then proceeded to explain to the three master devils, that I had been commissioned by the princess to prepare for her arrival and to choose her suitor in a game of poker, followed in a game of chess.

    The winner of the chess game would be allowed to have sex with my queen and his seed would result in my queen giving birth to a new breed of hell dweller. This would become a hybrid between the overworld kingdom of Shamballa and the underworld kingdom of Agartha and energized by the extra worldly kingdom of the Eagle of Thuban.
    After that firstborn hybrid from the overworld and the underworld would come into being, the floodgates of the overworld would open and many more princesses would descend into hell to mate with the devils in whatever hierarchy they'd have or would define. But for every devil, there would be found a companion princess from the overworld.
    And so we sat ourselves around the table and proceeded to play poker. The criteria was that the first master devil who would win 12 games against my lesser count, would qualify for the next stage of playing chess for access to my queen's hairy yoni. I did not mentally influence anything and the game proceeded randomly with each of the four of us winning approximately 25% of the games.

    Since I could not choose between Asmodeus, Belial or Beelzebub on any physical external criteria; I decided to implement a mental trigger in weighting the subsequent chance distribution of the 'fall of the cards' in favour of the first master devil who would win two games in a row by chance.
    And Belial won two games in a row and then kept drawing 'flushes' and 'full houses' and the 'medieval one' got more and more excited about outplaying the rest of us.
    And so Asmodeus and Beelzebub had to concede defeat and hurried Belial and myself on to get it over with; they had become obsessed with the thought of having sex with the princesses of the overworld of Shamballa and they knew that the process of my queen's insemination would result in an immediate conception and the hybridisation of themselves as the newborn hellish breed of Agartha and in partnership with the embodiments of the overworld of Shamballa.

    And so I sat down with Belial for a game of chess; beating me once, would qualify him as the 'stud bull from hell' and automatically crown him as the 'Devil King of the Underworld', having sex with my 'Angel Queen of the Overworld' and as prophesied by the hellish oracles.
    And so I played without mental influence and I could beat Belial rather easily; he was far too excited to concentrate, thinking about entering the luscious vulva of my queen with his throbbing phallus in thrusts of hellish ecstasy and pleasure. I could not see the bulge in his black oversized pants and I mentally dressed him in black undersized jeans to see what my queen's sacred orifice was in for.

    I safeguarded the mystery of Belial's nakedness in veiling him in tight red underpants, but could nevertheless see the contours of his uncircumcised member, ever so slightly vibrating under the pressure placed upon it by the constriction of the undergarment.
    He kept squeezing his erection, whilst pretending to concentrate on the game of chess; so I, having become satisfied as to having him inside of my queen's vulva, blundered my chess born queen for exchange with Belial's king's bishop and then sacrificed my queen's rook for Belial's kingly knight and from then on; Belial sensed victory and proceeded to defeat me, for the first time concentrating on the game at hand.
    I conceded defeat and congratulated Belial on his victory.

    As the three master devils celebrated with a cask of hellish beer and Scottish whiskey; I took my leave and promised to return with my queen as soon as I had finished my other business of bringing the knowledge promised by the hellish oracle to the underworld of Agartha. I would have to consult with the extra worldly kingdom of the Eagle of Thuban to obtain final access and authorization to implement the exodus of Thuban as the intodus of Shamballa into Agartha.
    Asmodeus, Belial and Beelzebub just nodded and asked me to hurry up with my commissioned task, they would wait impatiently for the completion of that other business; but they would prepare the wedding suites for the overworld princesses, so the sexual adventures could proceed in style and fitting for the royal occasion of the interdimensional dragonomies.
    I then asked the three archdevils, to appoint an ambassador on behalf of my agency as the emissary for my queen; a representative who could tend my hellish interests during my absence in the overworld of Shamballa.

    I would brief this representative and provide him with a written manual, containing the outline of the working plan, wherewithal the oracle's prophecy would be fulfilled.

    Beelzebub I, then proposed and summoned Abaddon, the King Devil of the bottomless pit and known to the overworld dwellers through the code in Revelation.9.11.
    Abaddon seemed to be a sufficient deputy for my purposes, appearing in the form of a master demon of the fluidity of the water element in the form of the Scorpion and I decided then to extend my delegatory commissions to the other master devils.
    So I produced three representative digitally photographed holographic images of the overworld brides for the three arch demonic bridegrooms to keep and to behold during their period of waiting for my return.

    To Asmodeus a gave picture of Urielabeth the sexy enchantress of the Northern earth, clad in a skintight outfit of acrylic leather; I assigned Michaela, the queen of the Eastern fire to Beelzebub, dressed in nothing but a see through overlength blouse and to Abaddon I gave a picturesque emblem of Raphaelle, the Southern water goddess of the nymphs, naked except for her golden locks, hugging her mermaiden nature; and Belial carried the photo of my Beloved naked queen, ruler of the Western air of Gabriella within the context of my definition, yet one overall.

    As I ascended the stairway from the master devils' abode; the darkened hellish landscape which I had previously wandered through began to fill with light and 'my hell' blended with the linespace reality of my bedroom.""
    Tony Whynot

    I Am One in Many and I Am Many in One!

    Last edited by abraxasinas; 01-14-2010 at 03:55 AM.

    astrohamburglass (2). HeavenHell1.

    Quote: I soon got tired of card games, took my leave and went back into the main corridors of the "eternal damnation". Endquote

    Yes, I truly knew what this meant. Your body, when spiritualized contains the "darkness" of creation. All the antispiritual things which had manifested throughout the long evolutionary path of the starhuman personas became the energy of thought forms forming your new bodies.
    That is why things are so plastic, so formable and subject to your thoughts.
    The left side of God so becomes the "eternal damnation" and the spirit matter, whilst the right side of God becomes the spiritual life within that "damned" body.
    The hellfire is the fact that the "devils and demons" are "trapped" forever in Your body and You can go there for some fun. They are ‘Your Entertainment!
    Nobody gets hurt, nobody suffers, and You can let Your imagination run wild and free. Now just imagine that the Right to Die is taken away from You and You cannot accept this ‘Fact of Damnation’.
    Then You are stuck with a body You can infiltrate and change with Your thinking.
    Then imagine You refuse to believe in Your own power and desire to hold on to a belief of some imaginary hell and devils outside of Yourself.

    Just imagine how You would Feel. You cannot die and You cannot come to terms with Your own body.
    So there is no relief of this sense of being lost until You come to Accept Yourself. Even when You sleep and dream, the thing will not leave You alone.
    For You see, there needs to be a change of the astral after the greater changes occur in the period 1998-2001-2013-2020-2024 and the time when all the ancient sayings will fulfil. This means that many of the "lost" ones will have an insufficient personal vibration to incarnate in the "peaceful" scenario of planet Earth and are stuck in an expanded astral hyperspace.
    For evolution and spiritual growth is not linear.
    So beings do not just reincarnate; it is a rather cosmic thing all to do with Your own personal frequency of self being.
    There are however a lot of Affinities and correspondence; but once a starhuman always a starhuman, but eventuation as fully fledged God of course.

    You can choose Your experiences on a downward scale to Learn something and You can even connect to certain mind states of animal consciousness; but You will not incarnate as a being incompatible with Your L-C-Factor definition expounded elsewhere.
    To render animals more human like, they have to develop Self-inductance, the L-factor and so You cannot incarnate as an animal if You have a L-C-Factor coupling.
    This Coupling Is Your Lifeforce, Your soul and It is already eternal as a mathematical entity but subject to experience through learning.
    Immortality in the body then results in the setup of this coupling as variable Energy Source and the changing of Your body, the quickening of Your Mass, is then able to resonate as Your own Personal Cosmic-ID-vibration with Your source of all Love.
    But let us presume that You have a life of material abundance and You Learn a great many things to do with handling money and wielding influence and power over many other things and persons.
    You die and You might very well choose to live as a starving child in Africa and die then at the age of five. This is Your choice and happens regularly. The so called Karma is more to do with what You need to Learn on Your path to Godhood.
    Although things like these seem unbelievable to many in the physical life; these things become very different in perspective once You have left this place.

    Everything You read here is something You Know and Know very well. You will Identify with all those words You now question or even ridicule.
    Everything You read, You will be familiar with - When You Are Dead, when You have left Your physical body.
    So You might understand just Why it can only help You if You read this and if You Try to understand in Your present state of mind. It is Your own Knowing which is trying to convey some truth relative to Yourself to Your skeptical mind.
    Why skeptical? Just think it through. The "devils" Know what they are, thought forms and to Your Command. They are the ones which are Afraid of Your Awakening.
    But Your Dad, in His wisdom, decided to Give to You His darkness for Your Body and Your entertainment. And the time has come, after 4000 years, to manifest this fact.

    So the missing link in Your life is Your Love for the spiritual energy which is the energy which makes You alive; Your feelings and emotions, likes and dislikes. The enormity of what You are is truly splendiferous.
    Not only are You in possession of the potentially best computer there is; but this computer links intricate energy systems of circulation and respiration under the guiding infiltration of the Unified Field of all Energy, the natural electricity in space.
    Just imagine if You could remember all the things and lifetimes You have lived in the 19.1 Billion years of Your existence and that is linear spacetime only.

    Why can You remember so little about Your past? Where were You 100 or 200 years ago? Some of You think to know that they were somewhere, or some place and others think that everybody only lives once.
    To live only once is equivalent to saying that Your mathematical definition is already fixed. Then You live and die and are Asleep in memory and You forget what has been before in Your sphere of Life.
    And Your brother Jesus said, that some were standing around at the "sermon of the mount", who would not taste of death until the kingdom of God would have come in power.

    So You can try and twist things as You like, but what HE meant was, that some people there would always and sometimes remember former lives and so they would not "taste of the death of memory" and they would not fall asleep in totality.
    In another place HE said in regard to John the Eagle, the apostle "whom He Loved"; that it should not matter to the apostles if John was to "tarry", that is wait for His second coming and the advent of the period Anno Domini or AD and AC or After Christ.
    And the raising of the dead is the Reawakening of all Your Unconscious minds.
    This is veiled at the moment to allow You to come to terms with Your mortality and to develop a faith and belief structure about Yourself and based not just on Religion but upon a true understanding about Your own past, present and future, which is the same as Now=Always in the relativity of the wave of Oneness.

    The "veil" is the rather bewildering "mist of deception" the spiritual muck, destined to become absorbed into Your bodies and the "stuff" of Your Freedom.
    But Your bodies are very important. They will become the containers of Your life and the abodes of Your own personal hells, the Halls of Entertainment.
    So whenever You desire to create or experience within the dark side of Dad, which is of course also Mum, then You can visit there through Your mind and maybe come back with a new story to write or a new film to produce - endless possibilities.
    Practice makes perfect; but should You only once succeed to go there; You will understand, and You will start straight away to enjoy this kind of freedom.
    So the Kingdom of God is within You and the Kingdom of Hell is without You.
    Things are the reverse way before transformation. YOU find imaginary devils and anti-love manifested everywhere and just because things are inside out.
    It is the task of all of Us to invert the inside out and to Love Love.


    3. The Snowstorm of the Awakening! (November 1975)

    It had been a long party. I laid in the arms of my fiancée somewhere in the countryside in Bavaria and not far from the Alps and the border between Austria and Germany.
    We had returned to the typical but very old farm estate and relaxed in front of the ancient woodburning combustion stove.
    Thinking of nothing in particular, I looked up to the ceiling and became aware of a wooden chandelier, just a wooden construction really with four corners and four hand carved figurines depicting the four directions of the sky.
    I thought something funny in regards to those figurines. To a representative teen, and not particularly interested in any otherworldly things; those things nevertheless exuded something sinister, some strange force of hatefulness.

    I shook my head and tried to dispel this emotion. I tried to think of making love and to turn my thoughts onto the young woman in my arms.
    I said: "Rosy, what do you make of those figurines up there?"
    She answered that they gave her the creeps and that she had never liked them all her 22 years of living in that place, her mother's farm since her father had died. I felt a little better. At least it wasn't completely in my imagination. Nevertheless I tried to forget about the thing and looked away from the figurines towards another part of the ceiling - concentrating to forgo this emotion of hate coming from the chandelier.

    Then it happened.
    Just looking at the ceiling, the ceiling began to move, not physically, but the astral "muck" vanished and this sort of opened the twilight zone, again in the beta state and so fully awake.
    Concentric pulsations of light streamed into my brain with a frequency just over one vibration every second. It would not stop and continued for about half an hour. I just laid there and mentioning to Rosy that some kind of energy was flowing into my head and I asked her to remain still and just see what would happen. After some time - though time seemed to be different and not linear during that experience - the sensations stopped to start all over again. The feelings of this energy were pleasant, but very penetrating and very strong.
    A kind of prickling sensation flowing from your top of your head right through your entire body.

    It was a kind of Love, but not a Love looking for something. It was a Love which Knew and a Love which had immense power, but I did not understand any of it. I was only 18.
    The energy diminished, and I suddenly saw myself within a different scenario.

    Campfires were burning in the night and in the distances all around this hill, this elevation. I saw figures couching around those fires, trying to keep warm. I was next to some wooden construction and as a turned my head to the left I saw those Eyes - the most Loving yet sad eyes imaginable.
    Those eyes of the purest Love spoke to me: "Why do they not understand? They just do not understand what Love is."
    That was all the eyes said, but I sensed another and subdued message: "Tell them about me and about my Love for them. Tell them what It Is!"
    But this Love was such that it did not command or tell anybody to do anything; it was even "afraid" to ask since it did not like to impose on anybody. It was just Love and Love and Love.
    Then the scenario of emotional intensity subsided, and I returned to "normality".

    I was rather shaken, and my body trembled because of my spiritual experience.
    My thoughts then turned to the figurines and I stood up and broke them off the chandelier and threw them into the fire in the stove. A symbolic act of faith! They were made of oak and my hands bled after I broke them in my act of "irrationality". Rosy said that she understood that something had been going on, but that she did not share in my visions of the Loving Eyes.
    She didn't mind me burning those figures, but she worried what her mother would say in the morning.
    We went upstairs to go to bed and the heater, a small two-tiered reflector was switched on to keep the room warm. The nights were getting colder as winter was approaching in Southern Germany.

    An incredible wave of hate radiated from this object, but our physical tiredness overcame us, and we fell asleep even forgetting to make love.
    I woke up very early and a snowstorm was howling outside. Rosy was already up and milking the cows; she and her mother ran the little farm all by themselves; with Rosy's sister and brother helping out.
    It was very cold and the snow outside was more than a meter, covering the landscape. I went down into the stables and said to Rosy: " I must do something. I must go up this mountain to this little chapel up there and then I do not know what." Rosy just looked and collapsed unconsciously into my arms. I took off my heavy overcoat, wrapped it around her and proceeded to stomp my way through the snow and the snowstorm up to the little chapel.

    It seemed endless and progress was slow; but my impatience drove me on, and I finally got there to find the chapel locked with a wire.
    I broke the wire and went inside, there was a statue of Mary and a few angels or whatever. I did not know what to do. I did not pray or follow any religious dogma or ceremonies. Sure I had been an altar boy like all the rest of the boys in the little village in Bavaria, Iffeldorf, where I grew up in this Catholic setting.
    So I just poured my heart out to whatever there might be and cried and went back outside and looked up to the sky. The snowstorm had finally subsided, and the sun was trying to break through as morning sun.

    Then I decided to make my way down to this little village of Taching near Rosy's farm to visit the local church and tell the people that they were missing the point - for it was Sunday and all the villagers would go to church and follow their religious customs.
    Little did I know with my 18 years behind my ears; I did not expect the labels of hallucinations and mental illness and drug dependent freakishness.






    4. Beelzebub the First! (June 1976)

    It was one of those days. I finally had found a job in Brisbane, my birth town. I worked as a kitchenhand in a fancy restaurant, Finnegan's in the City Centre. It was only casual work, but it was my first paid work since I left Germany to return to my home country Australia.
    A number of things had happened in Germany. The events of the vision of Calvary subsided more and more. Nothing but trouble came out of that. My vision of getting a car and driving around all of Germany and telling the people about those Loving Eyes had become a dim memory. I had been committed to a mental asylum as the "crazy messenger from God", but my cunning charms towards the female head psychiatrist and other helping hands cut short my stay there and I was released just for Christmas.
    But I was given injections and drugs which played havoc with my ganglian cells in the brain and which destroyed my dopamine neurotransmitting fluids to a large extent.
    All my life I had refrained from any drugs whatsoever and I did not smoke. A social beer and my daily cups of coffee constituted my only addictions.
    Often my legs would shake uncontrollably and cramp seizures in my calf muscles and toes often had me get up in the middle of the night to ease the pain and ease the cramps.
    I wanted Rosy to move in with me, but she wanted to look after her mother and I moved on. I had a car and smashed it in no uncertain terms. It had been my pride and joy, but everybody who saw the wreck said that I should be dead.

    But I had just passed out and walked from the wreck with a small concussion of my ribs and a lot of glass in my hair.
    I was engaged to Emmy and we thought to start a new life in Australia. I was to go over first and she would follow a couple of months later.
    Whilst Rosy had taken my virginity, Emmy would be my wife and since I had become "unsuitable" to continue my career in the Bavarian Police squad due to my mental "imbalance", I decided to become a teacher of Mathematics and Physics in Australia. So I flew back and waited for Emmy. Three letters a week became two then one and many more letters arrived from the many "flames" I had in Germany, Hong Kong, France, Singapore and Rosy.

    One day Rosy wrote, that her younger sister had died in mysterious circumstances. Annelies was healthy and a young girl in normal circumstances. Yet she had collapsed and died without cause and no German medical expertise could determine the cause of death. Rosy had said that all "hell" had broken loose in the old farm estate.
    Her sister in law was throwing things at her mother and intention was to move away because of the hatefulness coming from this place.
    Rosy also said, that she was in communication with Annelies from the "other side" and that the place was used in the past for devious goings on. Human sacrifice and devil worship and such things and the chandelier had been part of that scenario.

    I received that information but thought no more of it. I was selfish, immature and inconsiderate, just intent on living my life and to gain for myself.
    Emmy in Germany loved me with all her mind and soul, yet being apart does nothing for interdependent love and I still communicated with many other girls and played the field.
    I received that information but thought. no more of it. I was selfish, immature and inconsiderate, just intent on living my life and to gain for myself.
    Emmy in Germany loved me with all her mind and soul, yet being apart does nothing for interdependent love and I still communicated with many other girls and played the field.
    Yet this one weekend I acted rather strangely.

    I stood before the mirror and tried to look into both of my own eyes at the same time. This is a lot harder than one thinks. Once contact is made, your visage becomes malleable and changes around your eyes. Sometimes I was fascinated by that, because it was like you could get in contact with other selves inside of yourself.
    But this particular weekend I also, for some unknown impulse, marked little crosses on my forehead with a biro. The following afternoon, it was a Sunday I went into a nearby park and collected little rocks and pieces of wood and put them in a jar. My thoughts were something like connecting to the Earth and the spirits of nature. But I truly did not understand any of it.

    And as I was sitting upon a little mound in New Farm Park, chewing on a straw, that was something cool to do in those days; I noticed a man staring at me intensely some distance away.
    He did not stop staring and I thought well, he must fancy me, but since I was not homosexually inclined I dared to walk up near him and sat down in an ordinary conversation.
    It was very strange indeed. Words just came into my mouth and I talked without thought; "Do you believe in God and in Jesus Christ? You know there is this LOVE out there and do you know that and who do you think I am?".
    Now I did not know why I said all that. Rather strange to talk religion to a complete stranger. But the man said that he did not know either why he had gone into the park. He said that he lived nearby with a family and that he had this compulsion and then he said that he rather not say who he thought I was and yes he did believe in God and all that. And that was basically the end of it. I went home somewhat befuzzeled about this weird weekend and went to sleep not expecting anything at all. The next morning I had to go to the restaurant, and I fell asleep.

    I woke up - I was wide awake and it was in the middle of the night.
    There was something in my room and this something did not like me.

    My body broke out in sweat and the bedsheets seemed to wrap themselves around my body, I could not move except turn my head from the wall to the open side of my bed. Strangely I felt this oppression and this hate, but I was not scared, I knew, what had to be done without knowing it.
    This dark creature was staring at me with an intensity and I cou1d hear its thoughts: "You worm, you nothing of the nothing. You dare to challenge me in your wretchedness. You will never even make a dent into my power. You are insignificant, a nothing." Simultaneously, the small amount of reflected moonlight on top of the ceiling returned with a pulsating circularity familiar to me. It seemed there was a kind of spiritual struggle going on - in my room and with me as medium, the instrument of the conflict.

    The Love from above strengthened my own inner being and I stared back at Beelzebub the First.
    I could feel the burning of the little crosses on my forehead and I thought of the little rocks and the angelic message from the park. All this gave me confidence and I did not argue with the creature, gorilla like but with distorted human features, a caricature of human expression really and grotesque, hateful and without compassion. I stared at his eyes and yellow they were and Beelzebub the master devil seemed to give in and sink into the ground through the hyperspace window opened within my room. I turned my head back to the wall and the pulsation ceased but the bedsheets still were wrapped around me.
    Just as I thought to think about just what it was all about I knew that he was back. I was exhausted and yet I turned my head again and there he was.
    He was bigger and stronger than before and he was laughing and grinning triumphantly. "You worm you nothingness, did you think for a moment that you could defeat me!"
    The pulsation from the ceiling restarted and I just consigned myself to the task at hand. "Here we go again!"
    I started to exert my will. I started to push with all what was within the being of myself. I forgot about my normality, my selfishness, my deceit, my lies and all the things I had done in my life, which had caused pain or suffering to others.
    I let go of being me, born to die and my desires and hopes and wants.
    I was working my mind and I had support from the Love which I knew Loved me.
    I responded to Beelzebub's bombardment of hate in reflecting the Love from above and nothing else. My "normal" mind was completely empty. I did not exist in "normality" any longer.

    I could do something for the Loving Eyes, and I would not let this Love of all Loves down because of my own immaturity or ignorance.

    So I willed and willed and willed this LOVE through me into this creature of hate. Ever so slowly Beelzebub's grinning changed into a grimace of nonhuman agony and he began to sink. His triumph became despair of a grotesque self expression. Not pain, not suffering in starhuman terms, but a kind of disgust with whatever was its life.
    As Beelzebub the First disappeared into his twilight zone, the oppression within my room subsided and the Love pulsation ceased. Exhausted I just turned around and fell asleep without another thought about what had happened.
    Strangely enough, the next day I knew what had happened, but It was my first day back at work after my birthday Friday last and the experiences would lie dormant now for over eight years.

    Then in November 1984, and after marriage to an American lady Sharon and after the birth of 3 of my six children an inner voice started to twitch saying, that after my university education, it was time to write a book about life in general.
    On the 18th of January in the year 1985, lightning struck and a big hailstorm passed over Brisbane and my general search for true meaning resulted in to a new, yet familiar direction of scriptural research, scientific theory and the study of all sorts of extraordinary phenomena and the seemingly unsurmountable differences between the spiritual life and the hard and fast lifestyle of the world around me.

    abrax12. abrax13. abrax14.

    Post last edited Oct 9th 2012- Posted Oct 7th 2012

    5. Totanubis and the Loneliness of Love! (March-April 1985)

    I was excited, I had met various people who shared my interests.
    There was Lew, a teacher of the handicapped and a psychic reader and his friends in the little tearoom in Fortitude Valley. His wife studied acupuncture and alternative medicine and I wanted Lew to tell me the future and how to interpret the strange mathematics in my head.

    I had forgotten, or should I say I did not contemplate all those happenings in Germany. The things which led to my losing one career after another due to my "mental illness". I had joined the Airforce in Australia, the RAAF and after some racial discriminations, claiming I was responsible as a Kraut for the atrocities of Hitler's war and had no place in the Australian Air Force; I decided to embark on further study via night colleges, correspondence and eventually university. Things were affordable in the times then.

    Teaching Mathematics was on my mind and after my basic degree I wanted to complete my qualifying education with an education diploma, a one year course.
    I had enrolled also in a part time arts degree to study scriptures and ancient history, the Romans and the Greeks and so on.
    But I got sidetracked: there was the Atlantis connection, UFOs and ancient Egypt.

    I read and studied everything. Alternative medicine, indigenous cultures in North America. I always fancied myself as an Indian warrior, a peaceful one before the white man came with his strange and violent ways. Running Water or Running Deer had been my name and I really digged those rhythmical drums and the ecstasy of the so deeply spiritual movements and dances. Those were good times of naturalness and reverence for the big mother of the Earth and big Daddy, Manitou Love up in the sky.

    My mind raced from scenario to scenario, was it me or some connection or just an over imaginative mind, full of disease of schizophrenia and imbalance.
    But I felt the Love of those Loving Eyes. It stayed with me, even when I did not want anything to do with it. My Geminian nature was flexible. My mind jumped around and from subject to subject absorbing and learning about whatever it found strange and new and old and fascinating.
    But this book I was meant to write, what was it?
    I had discovered some strange algorithm that January afternoon when lightning struck and the noise of thunder awoke the Eagle.

    It became clear and yet confused - there was a way to prove the existence of God. Well, maybe no one else would accept this proof. But it was of extreme importance to construct a proof for it relative to myself. If I could convince my own mind that the spiritual feelings I felt all my life were real and not some autosuggestion of a mental disease, then I could be happy with myself and irrespective of the beliefs or opinions of others I could live my life to my own Self and the things I Loved. Because I am a very skeptical sort of person and often have I called myself the biggest sceptic who ever lived. I did not like following or dogma or even faith or believing in the strange things in the many holy books around the place.
    I needed to Know to Understand, before I truly could put my mind to it, to apply it to my own way of Living.
    Hellfire and damnation and people dying on crosses for the sins of others never meant anything to me. Sure I could identify with this Jesus bloke I saw in the movies.

    Surely a good man, and maybe God; but I could not see any sinfulness in people, just ignorance and all sorts of pressures bothering everybody rich and poor.
    I read the Book of Revelation written by his favorite apostle, or so they said.
    And I thought I could recognize something, but I was not sure what it was.

    But when the lightning struck, I was convinced that I was the white horseman there riding forth conquering and to conquer. . something and I was excited and thought that this was linked to those number relations and the fundamental constants of nature which I could derive from first principles and without any experimentation at all.
    I wrote and wrote, articles and chapters and things were naive and they got better and a little bit here and a little bit there.

    Ah, then I discovered something was not quite right; I modified, chucked this out and included other that's.
    I wanted to write a book with Lew and we wrote and he added and we thought to publish but for one reason or another things delayed, got held up and we gave lectures to small groups and similarly interested persons.
    I found a knack with Egyptian symbolism. It seemed to talk to me and I got many impressions reading for other persons and trying to convey the Love of it all.

    One night I had incredible stomach cramps of vomiting and excruciating pains of an empty stomach; again I linked it to the revelation, where a little book is eaten, a little book which is sweet as honey in the word, but bitter in the digestion in the absorbing through the body.
    The next night, I met Totanubis and I well and truly fell in Love.

    I woke up from a dreamless sleep and there I became aware of this big plateau, a soft wind blowing some clouds about the place. A newborn lamb tried hard to get onto its feet and still wet from the birth waters strutted and walked or better said stumbled towards a lonely figure in a black robe standing right at the edge of the plateau. One couldn't see the face of Totanubis, but the little lamb staggered towards the left ankle or the vicinity of it under the black all covering figure and gently rubbed its neck at this place.
    Then the lamb looked up and Totanubis looked at the lamb.

    Wow, there was no face ! There was the brightest brightness hidden under this dark robe. An unfathomable light resided there, and it was a light of serenity and a light of loneliness. The energy was indescribable, powerful and omniscient.
    Totanubis stretched out his right arm and pointing down the plateau it gave what seemed like directions to the little lamb. He pointed here and there, there were shadows and there were many packs of wolves roaming around.

    The little lamb was sitting doglike listening to Totanubis and all the expositions.

    Eventually, the instructions had ended, and the lamb nodded and began to make its way down the plateau into the wilderness of it all.
    For a last instant, the little lamb turned around and saw Totanubis sitting on an isolated chair of wood and next to a single simple wooden table.
    Nothing else was in sight, but Totanubis sat there, his head buried in his hands and collapsed on top of the table and crying and sobbing his eyes out.
    The little lamb felt so much pain then, it knew that Totanubis was its Dad and that He cried for the little lamb.

    He did not want the little lamb to go it all alone and yet He knew that it had to be done. Totanubis was so lonely and Totanubis was the Love behind the Loving Eyes of Calvary. Totanubis was the One which created the concentric Love pulsations and He was the only creator and the only Dad of it all.
    And so the little lamb went down to the wolves.

    And the little lamb said to itself, that it would try to make Dad happy. It wanted to see Dad jumping around for Joy and this Love had to be and had to be created at all costs.
    The wolves were closing in; in ever decreasing circles, did they attempt to get to the lamb. The strange thing was that the lamb could defend itself with its mouth.
    Fire came out of it and the wolves retreated whenever they saw the fire come out of the mouth of the lamb.
    And I lost the vision of the lamb, but was deeply moved by it.
    It was April Fool’s day and I thought what a fool I am. Am I the fool on the hill?

    But I knew that my studies had progressed enough to construct a self consistent hypothesis for the proof of God and I decided to try to convince people to have a look at it. If they just read it with an open mind, things would be self-evident, so I thought.

    In my education I had progressed to the practice-teaching stage and the computer had given me my seventh preference, a high school run by Christian monks, starting on April 1st.
    Oh well, I thought the primary practice teaching had been a resounding success despite my German accent and all the teachers had been very impressed with my dedication and my Love for the children.

    So I arrived at the college and remembering the one and only voice I had ever heard in my entire life, when I looked in the mirror to penetrate my outer being.
    "You are the Sun child" or it could have been "You are the Son child"; short and sweet and out of the blue but clear and unmistaken and as real as anything. Never again, ever did I hear anything by the medium of sound. So I took my chances and walked in to talk to some monks. Surely, they would understand that religion and science were on the wrong track, that it all was incomplete until they would be connected and the Love of it all was put back into the center of all being.

    But I was naive, and a statue of Jesus there really made me emotional. Jesus, dear brother, I said falling down crying. Then I stood up and gave the white robed monk sitting on the receptionist desk my little essay, I had written showing how science and religion both define God and Love.
    It showed in my revelations just how Einstein's relativity theory would connect the quantum physics and manifest the unified field and other such things.

    He looked at me strangely and said that Jesus would come on the clouds and that he thought me deranged. There was a computer mix up and he did not even expect a trainee teacher to teach high school classes in the Marist Brothers College.
    So we did it all over again. Police cars, but not being tied up this time, hospital checkups and after nothing wrong was found amiss; a shrugging of shoulders and the delegation to the mental asylum.
    So the Teaching career went down the drain as well, as the one in the police force.

    But it was funny then in Germany; all those officers not believing that a colleague of theirs would go walk about into a church congregation and beginning to preach next to a priest, hearing shouts like; "He is on drugs, get rid of him". And other strange utterances and those unbelieving eyes of mistrust, bewilderment and hate and fear of the unknown.

    And yet after some phone calls, the officers had found out that I was in fact telling the truth about my identity and they wondered just how a madman could write pages of typewritten statements about what he was doing.

    One said: "You know there is a way out of this dilemma. Just say that you had a bet with somebody to do what you did and then a small reprimand will get you off the hook." I was tempted then, I knew that the system would accept me back if I lied about my convictions, but I stuck it out and they shrugged and sent me away.
    Eventually I was charged with 'Disturbance of a Religious Meeting' or something like that; but the priest who had witnessed the events didn't press charges and the case became dismissed.
    All I did was try to tell about those Loving Eyes and the end of the system of things. All I tried the second time, was to say that things must change for a better future for everybody and especially all the children which have lost hope and respect and the right feel for themselves and their parents and their teachers.

    I tried to talk of peace and Love and harmony; but I hardly ever got a word in.

    So like the first time, after a period of readjustment, I conned my way back out of the mental place, this time with a male head psychiatrist.

    'Balaam’s ass forbade the madness of the prophet' - as it is written and My Lab is what it means. I used my science and baffled them with unknown doctrines and things never before proposed or put into theory in such a comprehensive way.

    Nobody understood anything, but it looked sophisticated enough for them to respect my creativity and I returned again from the state of "abnormality" into the reality of war and hate and death and misery. Then I worked in a cannery for four years or so. But this time they ruined my legs for good. I had slightly recovered from the medically induced drug abuse; the pills and needles weren't so strong in the 70's.

    This time my dopamine depletion became permanent and soon I staggered around with symptoms just like Parkinson's disease and became diagnosed suffering from spastic paraparesis or Hereditary Spastic Paraplegia or HSP. So I had to stop working and became a disability pensioner after my legs got worse. But this allowed me to refine and improve on the book I still had the impulse to write and the book grew and grew, but something did not fit.

    I tried to date things and though many things made sense some of the scriptural prophecies eluded me. Was it 1988? 3 years from 1985 would be 1988, maybe Independence Day in the USA. But maybe the 3 years mean something else and Nostradamus said 1999 and the last pope of Malachi and the last Dalai Lama and the last Hasidic Jewish messiah are all alive and did not the Ayatollah Khomeini die at the same day as the Tiananmen massacre in China and on my birthday as well? Does it mean anything at all?

    abrax15. abrax16. abrax17. abrax18.

    6. The Reassurance of Love! (April-May 1985)

    I was relaxing on my bed one afternoon and I drifted into the alpha state.
    I heard the phone ring. I went up and it was dark. Then I realised that I had left my body and that I was still laying on the bed. This was the first time something like this had happened and I jerked back into my body with a bang and as I opened my eyes and knew that the phone wasn't ringing, but that I was meant to have experienced something a lot of people do all the time and something I always wanted to do and had now found out for myself.
    At another time I was dreaming very vividly, REM sleep with a border to wakening up; but not a true vision like the one of Totanubis or the one at Calgary.

    There I was on top of a roof, an attic really and I watched some pigeons fly to and from some beams in the attic.
    I thought well, I shall try to fly. I overcame my fear and thought myself a bird and I glided into the air and out of the building. It was so easy.
    There was no landscape and an inner voice said: "create it". So I created the landscape, trees and buildings, creatures. "Ah, so this is the "astral heaven"; you can form your own reality after you die, if you know where you are and what you are."
    It was very peaceful, yet adventurous.

    I decided to experience the feeling of having an immortal body and to walk right through a wall; not like a ghost, but rather like a transformative body, able to experience the particular and the wave state - one or all, relative to self-perception. So there appeared this great wall in front of me and I went towards it and through it. The feeling is one like you walk out or into the sea. The resistance to your body is there, but like water. You can move through it like a medium.
    So I got that question as well answered by my Love.
    At yet another time I met the Loving Eyes once again.

    This was no vision, but just like the visit by Beelzebub the First, but in Sunlight and as real as anything in spacetime.
    I pushed Sharon, my wife laying next to me: "Wake up, wake up and look at the window and as clear and physical as you or. me. There was this personage in a white robe just smiling at me Lovingly, not saying a word. All the rainbow colours were under the feet of this personage. He just stood there, smiling and sending me messages of Love and reassurance. My inner voice said: "You are doing well, things are just as they should be at this point in linear time; simply continue, you are greatly Loved".
    Sharon just would not wake up. I was spellbound and thought: "Please stay there, she has got to see you."
    The Lover slowly dematerialized and of course Sharon woke up.
    I said what I saw, but seeing yourself is the only believing is it not?

    7. The Homecoming of the Loving Way! (July 1987)

    I got interested in everything to do with the "New Age of Aquarius".
    So many people believed in the "space brothers" and UFO's and governmental cover ups and the necessity to reconnect with mother nature.
    The environment had even become a political issue, but politics and finance and such things did not interest me at all. Dead works and dead debates and superficial power is what I always thought of them.
    Sure sometimes a good one comes along. A man with vision, maybe a little unconventional, but honest. So it should be nobody’s business who this person might sleep with or what this person does privately. But this world of sanity and realism and rationality is obsessed with person's private sex lives and what "nasty" things they might have done in their younger days. Just ask JFK and MLK and Mahatma Gandhi.

    Let us presume such a person comes along. He will not last long. A quick bullet and the reestablishment of the predictable status quo. Everything in order. Dumb brainwashed "masses " with the daily portions of soap, sensationalist news and the constant bombardment of violence and some more guns and laws and stock markets.
    And just who is in bed with whom and who is suing whom for defamation of character. But the world is rational and truly in the nationalistic way. Our forefathers did it by hard work and our fathers, so it must be all right for junior.
    And God blesses the rich and abundance to the ones who have, because the poor have only themselves to blame. They do not believe in Jesus enough. If they would ask him for work and money he would provide and he who has shall have more and the ones who have not, yes of them shall be taken what they have and given to the haves.

    This is the way of the world and the nature of the God and his Jesus, the son of God which will come on top of clouds and with millions of harps playing angels to reward the faithful churchgoers and to hold everybody’s hand.
    Jesus will fix everything up and he will damn all the poor unbelievers. He will destroy all the soothsayers and the witches and the psychics and the astrologers. Jesus will hold everybody's hand and the dead will come out of the graves and have miraculously reformed bones and flesh and sinews. Then old Julius Caesar for one will stand in front of dear old God and plead his good and bad works.
    And Adolf Hitler’s body will be reassembled and there he is; stepping from one toe onto the other before the wrathfulness of Jehovah, the father of Love?

    Well you can twist things as you like, but things will not be like that.
    The soothsayers and the witches are the psychiatrists and some psychologists, or should one say their institutions; which try to explain things in ways which can only be explained by scientific spirituality and things like awareness and perception and relative consciousness. But they refer to the scientific method and drugs and ?
    Nowhere is it said that the second coming of the Lover will be On clouds. It is In clouds and this is a very big difference. The "vessels of mercy" are like clouds and many references are in all the holy books about the true nature of those things. Try to dissolve some clouds with Your mind in sending energy into it.

    It works and is a good exercise for Your will power.
    So I had never seen any spaceships in the sky, but the overwhelming eyewitness reports convinced me of their existence. But what were they? And where did they come from? Extraterrestrial planets, galaxies or from under the water or from inside the Earth or were they cover up operations of a secretive technology produced by undercover scientists?
    I had to find out for myself and my Love had always answered all my questions.
    I had asked and I had received. I had desired knowledge and it had been given to me.
    So one night I dreamt about what it all meant, relative to me.

    I expected saucers, but I did not get any. I expected aliens, but there were none.
    There I was running in the meadows and I was naked. Strange I thought, no one is around, and I am in this vast green meadow, full of flowers and there was this erotic overtone, due to my nakedness.
    I looked up into the sky and there were many humongous clouds and they were dark clouds; just like a big thunderstorm was brewing ready to erupt upon an unsuspecting star human world.

    Suddenly the clouds seemed to contract and expand to produce a sort of flux and movement. Then I saw it and my inner being rejoiced like it never ever had felt before.
    My whole inner being wanted to jump out of my body when it saw this gigantic and elaborate construction up in the sky.
    There it was - My Home, My Own Place from where I had come and to which one day I would return.
    There was absolutely no doubt about it. I Knew and Knew and Knew. I was longing
    and crying: "I want to go home. What am I doing down here? I do not belong here?", and yet I knew that I did belong here And there and that somehow I had the power to make this joyfulness of belonging real for everyone.

    What was it? It was like a city in the sky, but it was also a gigantic spaceship.
    The mother of all mother spaceships - the New Jerusalem.
    It was Truth and Love and the Future.

    There were constructions and lights sticking out everywhere. If it would land, then it would be like a country in itself, So big was it. It was in the process of becoming real, but something, a small essence was missing and when this little bit of nothingness would become reunited with the Holy City, then Everybody would be able to see this thing with physical eyes and All would believe this enormous Loving and the Kindness of Compassion of the Loving Way.

    There were a lot of other vessels, smaller ones, motherships. I stood there gazing at the scenario when I understood my nakedness. I had come from there without anything and I would return with nothing except my Knowing - that would be it.
    I really Loved those spaceships and I knew that they were real and true in all their ways; which persons had experienced. There were all kinds, and all had their purpose to become evident at the appropriate times.
    The physical Ones were sort of computerized, knowing things because of their L-factors and most were Very benevolent, and All the non-material Ones were Loving.

    8. The Remainder of Love and the Mother of Love! (March-April 1995)

    And time went by and I got sick and tired of being laughed at and ridiculed and what have you. What had I done wrong anyway?
    I sent copies of books, my prototypical peacemakers all over the world.
    A couple of dozens to embassies and over two dozen to churches of all kinds; some in Australia and some in America.
    I had spent a lot of effort and resources on photocopies, because publisher after publisher said, that the thing would not fit into their publication plans.

    I had written articles and research papers, but had got nowhere, even with the scientific press.
    Some said, yes, certain things are very interesting, but it cannot be done, the establishment does not do things that way.
    I had written to royalty and the papal hierarchy.
    The learned people said: "We cannot read it because it is sealed, and I have no time for it."
    The less educated people said: " I cannot read it, because the words are too complicated, too much Mathematics and too many equations."

    So I slowed down with my voluminous creative output and decided to become a materialist.
    Well, that is I thought to concentrate on my own family to impart some of the wisdom and the things I had learned over the years.
    Now the children listened and thought it all right, but then they went out into the "real" world of violence and hate, and superficiality and they came back saying to me: "Dad, nobody else talks like you and about respect and Love and caring. All my friends believe in other things and even my religion teacher said that the things of God should be left alone and the way they are.
    Those things would be dangerous and could corrupt the minds of children."

    So what could I do?
    My own family rejected the spiritual things of the heart.
    Loving Mindfulness and intellectual Love did not make any sense to anyone.
    It was nobody’s fault. Persons were certainly not to blame.
    Systems had grown and kidnapped the starhuman mind and held it to ransom with fear and threats of "conform or perish".
    I understood then, that nothing could be done by reason or meaningful discussion. Logic and argument had failed; legends and the mythologies and the wisdom of old had been judged irrelevant to the modern way of life.
    So I retreated and began to mind my own business until I met my Mum.

    Now everybody has heaps of Mums. And all of them are full of the Dawning Lovejoy. There is Mum and Grandma and Great grandma; then there is Mother Earth and Gaia and Sophia, the feminine wisdom.
    Then there is your Mother in Law if you are married and you also got spiritual Mums in the astral hyperspace.
    My dear Mother in Law died, and I got upset, because everybody, except the immediate family, did not treat her with the respect she deserved.

    "How much is this funeral going to cost? Try to get a cheap rate. Maybe the best thing to do is to burn her. That is cheaper", so her own brothers and sisters carried on.
    Now it was the wish of Mary to be buried with a monument and at a peaceful place and We, the immediate family of husband, sons and daughters respected her wishes.
    And Mary died of Metastatic Adenocarcinoma of unknown primary cause, or in other words - cancer of the liver.
    She died on the 24th of March 1995 and she got away from the claptrap and the violence. After a lot of confusion and her internment at a peaceful place with swans on a lake and lots of trees and away from traffic; most people thought that would be the end of it and now everyone could forget about her and according to the way of the "real" world.

    Be born, live a life to get a lot of money and things to impress and then die to make way for the next generation. Hope for the best thereafter, but if you got lots of money, then you can determine to be frozen cryonically or maybe even only your brain or your head and maybe in the future someone will be able to put new life into your remains and you will resurrect in a newer world.
    But as said you needs lot of money to set up a trust fund and you might have a lot of trouble in the astral trusting the people you trusted after you cannot argue your points with them anymore.

    And I was angry, really angry. And my will came back to me.
    "How dare they! Those ignorant fools! ", its judging against my better knowing.
    "They are lost in their own corrupted minds, unable to see or express the smallest compassion or kindness", I was raging like I had not raged for a long time.
    It was not me anymore they reviled. I had taken it all my life; I could defend myself through my silence.
    No, now they were defaming a gentle giant at heart; a Loving penniless mother of three and two miscarriages; a war bride who had to leave her oldest daughter back in the USA to return to Australia to see her dying father.
    A beautiful lady of 72 years of age, having nothing at heart but her grandchildren; which she loved and whom she wanted to see grow up in prosperity.

    All her life she had been poor, robbed of her inheritances and living in cars, rented flats and relying on government subsidies. She was betrayed by her lovers and the friends she thought she had. She was cheated by taxation systems and government bureaucracies more interested in red tape than real people. She had been unhappy in love for decades and her many sorrows and personal unhappiness had made her body diabetic and oncogenic until the cancer killed her.
    Yet she never complained about herself.
    She wanted to improve her family’s lot and now after she had passed on, people could not wait to "get rid of her" fast enough - what guile.

    Minutes after she had died, Sharon rang from the hospital and conveyed the message.
    Everybody was upset, though we knew it would happen. I thought well Mum, how are you now? I knew that things continued straight away, and she had been in a coma just before departing peacefully with all her Loved ones there except me, babysitting.
    I proceeded to wash the dishes when I felt it, powerful and so strong.
    She was happy and joyful, rather serene and yet so strong.
    "Yes, I am happy. I know now that I can be with you all any time. I had been worried about being cut off. But it is very enticing here, and I am quite all right.
    I will have to talk to you, because you are the most sensitive towards the higher forms of life. I shall comfort all in their own ways."

    I cried and shared her happiness. I am very sentimental that way, sharing the elation of joyfulness. Even when competitors reach the finish line or stand on the winner's pedestals; I truly feel their joy in being successful after a long marathon or a lot of work put in to achieve something like that.
    Anyway, I thought, I can comfort the others now; Mum is all right.
    But then I felt Mum pushing and pushing, and it took me by surprise.
    "Your work - what about your work?"

    I was flabbergasted "what about my work? You do not know anything about my work.
    I have never discussed anything about my work, and I have not touched a typewriter for 2 years or so. You all know that I write about things, but nobody is really interested in what I do intellectually."
    "But I do know everything about it. And I am here to help you to finish it!", this she replied and added, and I just didn't believe her. This was a bit strong.

    For 20 years I had tried to share this strange Love of mine, spiritual, unconditional Love and no one accepted it just as it was. So I had put it aside, set on hold.
    The sparse response which I did get was basically arguments, judgement and criticism. I had got into a page long discussion in a German newspaper in Australia for example. They twisted and distorted a perfectly logical argument and accused me either of not respecting the Bible or in believing in a God which could not save.

    Others said, that I wanted free publicity and that I was after money or that I wanted to form a new cult or sect. Some just slandered me with swearing and one said, that my books and I should be burned at the stake like the medieval witches and heretics and my works should be put in the genre of Erich van Däniken's books.
    Why did everybody get so upset about Love? Was my Love true after all?
    If I was a false prophet or something like that, would I not have followers?
    I had none. I even doubted myself everyday day in and day out.
    That is why I then just stopped pushing the thing.

    And now Mary said, and after being about a couple of minutes in the astral; yes, she says that it is all true and that I do have a mission down here to convey this message of peace and Love and to explain what Love truly is in an intellectual and rational way.
    What could I say? What should I do now?
    I had tried, given up and tried again and forgotten about It and given up and finally resigned myself to live my life the best I could and to be Me, trying to be Loving and caring and all those things.
    I would have been happy enough to grow old and wise this way and to be there for my children and family and everybody who wanted to know.

    Sure I despised this world of falsity and distrust, lies and deceit. I felt a constant stranger within self-made misery and the deception of government and politics and so called economic necessities. Humbug and unreal fakes of selfish pretentiousness. Well, that what it was relative to me, how I felt.
    But - I was alone no longer; I had a witness on the other side.
    Now there would be two witnesses to the unfoldment of the starhuman destiny.
    My inner being rejoiced as I listened to some harmonic melodies and as the song of "Maria" came through from the musical "West Side story"; then I suddenly knew just why Mary had been so strong and why she sort of could bypass the astral dimensions and go straight into the "heavenly" etheric quantumspace of the 10 dimensions.

    Mary had been the Virgin Mary of 2000 years ago and therefore She would Know and be allowed to directly join up with Her Own resurrected Son.
    Instead of integrating in hyperspace, where most of the "sleepers" are, Mary went straight to the right side of God and in a sense merged with Jesus who is said to be there and waiting until things down here are fulfilled.
    I had written all the details about this someplace else, but suddenly I understood the "mystical wedding of the lamb" and the "birth in heaven" and all the other mysterious things in the Book of Revelation. It was like I had written that book. But hold it. Did I really believe my own words?

    Nobody, nobody would believe such a thing.
    Sure enough, things and information poured into my mind and the Bible became on open book and without mystery and I understood the New Testament like I was it.
    But belief? They would say: " Yes, very interesting, but my dear Man, you are deceived by the devil or hallucinating or auto suggestive.

    You are having invalid visions of grandeur and self-importance.
    For do you think that you can have direct access to Heaven, to God? Surely not!
    Let us pray together that your troubled soul may be saved and that the devil may release your tortured mind. Or take these drugs and pills and you will feel better. If you like, I can give you some shock treatment or perform surgery on your brain. This will cure you of your illusions, of that I am sure."

    Now I knew that I truly did not search self-importance. I was quite embarrassed by any kind of adulation. I had great difficulties expressing myself verbally because of my German accent and I truly liked being by myself or close friends and family. I was an observer and as I got older I became more and more introverted. There was no comeliness or beauty or anything at all about me, which other people would find attractive.
    I was surprised that I even had a family.

    In my younger days I had been different in style; more flamboyant yet reserved and ready for adventure and physical excursion. But now I preferred to be alone and just write letters in the background; Loving and bringing Peace in such a way appealed to me. I felt very uncomfortable around a lot of persons.
    I just could not identify with gurus and followers and worshippers. My entire Life, all my doings and thoughts were my worship of my Love.

    If anybody would come up to me and say: "Man I believe in you, let me be your disciple". I would answer him to be his own Master, his own Man. I would answer all his questions and help him to find himself and his Love anyway I could; but I would not engage in any Master-Servant relationships.
    I was the servant of Love and I had chosen to be this servant. I was no master of anything. I was a student of Life and a pupil of Love.
    As soon as you stop learning you cease from striving and you violate the second principle of Love Love, namely the law of Expansion.

    But I surely was the brother or sister of all the other starhuman beings.
    I was the child and Son of God and so were they. The only difference was graduation and experience and self-awareness.
    I could lead and teach in counselling certain things and so could everybody else.
    If persons could just understand this simple harmony.
    Everybody is a Leader and a Teacher and Student and Learner and Helper and a Lover.
    But everyone has his or her preferences, likes and dislikes.
    Individuality is prerequisite for the Harmony of the Whole.
    Family and Individuation together can result in the Loving Way.

    So relative to me, I could not accept it, of being possessed by devils, rather I knew that the devils were afraid of me. I could eat them and then they would be trapped within me for my own entertainment.
    But I did not always remember this important fact of the spiritual truth.
    I did have had doubts about my own sanity before, some time ago.
    So I went to a fundamentalist revival church to see if any devils could be cast out of myself.
    There I asked for fully immersed baptism and I confessed Jesus with my mouth and did all the things required of me.
    As I was supposed to talk in tongues, I reminded myself of some Atlantean and I said: "Eloi eloi am batha. Eloi eloi alma pace! Ana gorik gabrielle!", then I named it by Emmanuel Melchisedec and it simply means: "Father, Father through Love and Father, Father by Peace and given by the archon Gabriel and the medium of the Air.
    Lew had told me that; and when I had called upon Gabriel the first time I did in fact feel the concentric Love waves and so I knew that the words did have Love in them.

    Calling on sound by words or music or song involves the transmission of longitudinal waves of atmospheric pressure variations and so the elemental Air is appropriate.
    The baptism left me cold. No devils or anything came out of me and I did not experience the Love waves I knew were My Holy Spirit.

    Nothing at all happened relative to my own Love perception: but everyone around me shouted: "Halleluiah, praise the Lord. Another soul is saved!"; they were impressed with my "speaking in tongues". But I never went back there after that.
    They might 'be saved' and I might 'be damned'; but I can live with that.
    The Love in me was My Life and I had Proven To Myself and Scientifically, I should call it Omni-scientifically; that this Love and My God did Exist and so I just had to continue just to be Myself.

    9. Yahwhey and the Joy of Love! (July 1995)

    I was alone no longer.
    Sure, the reassurance had come from the "other side", the astral hyperspace and the quantumspace of the unified field.
    But Mary was as real to me now as she was when she had walked the surface of this planet Earth. I did not care that everybody thought that she was gone.
    Bob, her husband and Larry her son thought that she could talk no longer, but I could feel her in my inner being and words could form in my mind.

    And my Love from the 'other side' did something else. She seduced me sexually like the archetype of the Succubus or that of a 'Vestal Virgin'. We so engaged in a form of Mental Love Making. She seduced me with her forms of the Goddess, and I surrendered to her advances in imaging Us being together in whatever fashion WE found erotically stimulating and pleasing. All I needed to do, was to look at a photograph of her and She would induce her and my eroticisms to share with her sensual appetites in the 12 dimensions of the omnispace.

    This was very strange at the beginning to say the least and I thought that these sexual fantasies of mine would surely subside over time.
    They didn't and so I got used to Our interdimensional Love Making on the mental planes.
    Catherine Mary Cassidy so became my everlasting Love as Maria Infinity; the Mum of my Eternity with me eventually becoming the Dad in that Never ending and Everlasting Story of Us. I kept this as Our secret however and after the death of her mother, my marriage to Sharon fell apart in a normal cause of events within a year to the anniversary of Mary's transition and manifesting the individual search for freedom with an ensuing amicable divorce.

    One night I had those stomach cramps again and my eliminatory systems played havoc with my psyche.
    I had gone to the toilet with a bucket not knowing which way my body would revolt. It was very painful. My stomach was empty and yet the stabbing commotion and the incredible feeling of wanting to be sick overwhelmed my entire being.
    I had placed the bucket between my legs when the pain made me bend and twist in' spasms. Then - I cannot remember!

    But I woke up from a coma or something and I was spread backwards on the toilet seat with the bucket tipped over. There was this humming and noise in my ears, but the cramps had largely subsided.

    Where had I been? I had lost some time; maybe 10 minutes maybe 30. I remembered going to the toilet and Sharon had woken up so half an hour later and not seeing me she had wondered where I was. It had been in the middle of the night.
    I could not understand the noises in my head, but I felt like my energy system had been cleaned in some way. I thought my base energy point, the coccygeal triangular point at the end of the spinal column, where the tailbone was; had been activated. This basal chakra of the Kundalini energy could have been activated to allow myself to become a better instrument for the work at hand.

    But I was not sure. I could have been out of the body or dead or whatever.
    I could. have been "abducted" and my body could have been changed in some subtle way - but I just had no memories at all and I did not know.

    The night before I had written the "Hymn of the Pearl - Becoming", an ancient gnostic treatise of a "fairy-tale like" story of the ways of the kingdom of heaven.
    I thought I could fill in some missing gaps in this mysterious story and so I had elaborated on a basic pre-Christian text, one which Jesus knew very well, when he studied with the Naaseenes and when he discovered the ancient Egyptian heritage and the priesthood of Uraeus, another name for Melchisedec; as well as the Plumed Serpent Kukulkan of the Maya and the Quetzacoatl of the Aztecs.

    So I had eaten the "little book" again and sweet in word, it had made my tummy bitter.
    But as all things; it was relative to me and also relative to Mary.
    She was true, she would not lie and I had not asked for her involvement.
    If she said she would stay by me from the quantumspace of heaven, then I would believe her and accept the situation just as it was.

    I understood her subconscious insistence of a monument and its connection the scriptural "abomination of desolation" of which I wrote elsewhere. Everything began to make sense to my relativity to Love and the Energy of Life.
    I understood the necessity for a 'virgin birth', the meaning of redemption from ignorance and the Eucharist and the resurrection and the physics behind it.

    I thought about some subject or topic and Mary correlated and guided my thoughts in truth and understanding.
    It always was my thinking however. I was not a channel, but I had guidance in my thoughts. "You are the thinker and I shall slightly adjust", Mary would say.

    So I became aware of the real meaning behind the notions of Mother Nature and just what the meaning was behind a Father God and the Son of God.
    Where was the Daughter of God and the Wife of God, Mother God?
    I suddenly understood just why the Bible appeared so sexist and discriminatory towards women in general.

    In the proverbial sayings, it was said that "she opened her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue were the law of kindness";
    but in the New Testament women are forbidden to speak in the churches and are supposed to be subject to their husbands, just as their husbands were supposedly subject to the Christ.
    Women were supposed to remain covered and not to show their hair and other such things.
    Yes, it all came to me and I knew that the ways of the manmade churches just would not be able to understand the truthfulness of the scriptures within their own self-limiting frames of referential thinking.

    The bible was true in all aspects, but certain books and parts had been modified and had even been written in reference to a fake God Jehovah or Allah in a similar book called the Koran. There were multilevels of meaning however.
    But relative to me it was rather self-evident and the scriptures themselves gave hints and self-explanatory meanings to "obvious contradictions".

    For instance it was said that the covenant of Moses was a forerunner for better things to come, simply because the old ways did not make anything perfect and the JOB of starhuman kind was to be like the Job in the Old Testament, arguing and questioning everything until one could follow the footsteps of Jesus and just as Lucifer, the Son of the Morning had followed the footsteps of God, usurping Him.

    But the true God, the I AM THAT I AM in the Exodus and the true Love of Islam, but spelled ALHLA and symmetric and also known as YAHWEH to the ancient Hebrews; the same had been always in control. But for ancient times, his children needed physical and often very simple laws which required no thinking about it. Life then was harsh and based on survival. With science and technology came the emphasis on spiritual thought and tradition became less important. Instead of temples in churches; the temples became centred in starhuman hearts and the body of the church became the starhuman interactions; the brotherhood of starhuman kind.

    Where do women fit in? It was easy, did not Eve come out of Adam and did She not become part of him by His rib? All this had been extensively discussed in the corresponding words about the creation stories elsewhere, but it all had to do with the Future and the new creation and the kingdom of God on the planet Earth.

    The Son of God was not just Adam, but Eve as well. So the scriptures are not sexist at all. It does not matter if one is born a Man or a Woman.
    Relative to God, they are One and the same.

    In the future, the sexuality of two opposites is recombined in unification, just as Adam was before his rib was taken out of him.
    All this symbolism of the primordial Man is the primal Woman at the same time.
    When women are told to shut up in the Bible it refers to the two hemispheres of the brain and not a person as such.

    Per-Son, through the Son of God, Adam in symbolic pattern in the Mind of God and then Jesus as the Only Begotten by the Virgin; would the harmony of the creation be found again.
    The immortalized body has a mental bisexuality. Any Son can feel and think like a Daughter any time Heshe so pleases. Any Son so can walk and express Herself as a Man or a Woman whenever Shehe so pleases.

    This does not mean that sexual organs and the general body are biased at all. Because the real sex is in the mind anyway and the immortal body is malleable.
    A Sondaughter can have fun and experiences anything Shehe so desires in the Love self. I knew that from my visitation of Hell. I could make myself most beautiful.
    I could be there as the most voluptuous woman imaginable - relative to myself of course, and With all the Parts necessary to tease the sex devils.

    Alternatively, I could think myself an overendowed male body to appear as the "Stud bull in Hell".
    It is so easy and so sexy and so wonderful in that immortal body.
    You can be any age you like, but most Gods, meaning Goddesses as well, prefer an age of about 28 to 30. Sometimes they want to look old and sometimes they have fun in appearing like babies. All immortals can behave that way and all the mythological Gods Must incarnate as starhuman to get the physical. Presently, they have mental substance and energy only.

    Woman are Equal in all ways to Men, but Relative to God, the logical thought must Come Before the intuitive thought in terms of the "business" of the "church of God". That is all it means, just remember that the "Serpent", which is the Present of a Physical Universe to find out all those things and then gain the immortal state; remember that the serpent did not tempt Adam, the right side of God's Mind; no the "tempter" went to Eve, the left side of God, the intuitive Mind and that was that. Can you then perceive that the "shutting up of woman" in the churches applies to the emotionality of men? It is not the physical which is referred to but the thought of the mindful difference.

    The brain is bisexual in men and women; you can think and feel as one or the other as soon as you have set yourself free from conditioning and deception at all levels. A woman can and is equal to a man in the "church" whenever logic and intuition are in harmony. Before technology, women were discouraged to think for themselves, but the freedom of Eve had to be a forerunner for the liberation of Man as a whole.
    I had written many things about this so called contradiction in biblical terms.

    But the essence of the whole thing was the nature of the Father creating the Mother.
    Dad has had many wives. The first was the Darkness then Lucifera and Sophia and Satania and Gaia - all as archetypes and symbols, that is what Heaven and Hell are - just symbols.
    He took a mortal Wife in Mary to fulfil his masterplan and this book explains this through a variety of angles and viewpoints; but all converging towards His Loving Way and relative to myself.

    The Free Will of everybody can construct any kind of relativity and maybe a better Loving Way can be found one day; or maybe and most likely this kind of Relativity will become enhanced and improved as time goes on in the linear sense.
    The Expansion principle of the Creative Will never allow stagnation and will continue forever in the linear experience of spacetime within 11 dimensions, of Omnispace, the base relativity of universes of the Self.
    But for myself and for my universe within the omniverse of all others; I understood the Motherhood of Mirra Alfassa and Cynthia Dawn of the Lovejoy and Maria Ehmann and of Mary Catherine the Great.

    And Dad had awoken to Himself before the Big Bang and He came out of a stupor of going round and round with no end in sight. So He thought of Linearity and He broke the Circle and in doing that His Wife was born as positive infinite source potential, that is in technical terms and detailed in other parts of the creation stories.
    But They then created in mixing energies in polarity and Sex; and things became blueprinted without any physical implementation.
    To make it physical Lucifera had to play up and refuse to be the opposite of Dad and we had the first Drag queen and Gravity became born and the Darkness became Mass and the Antispirit became a Dragon and Sophia Involuted in all matter and the Big Bang coincided with Adam and Eve losing Eden as their symbolic Paradise.

    And Dad had Lost something and for 19.1 Billion years He would work to get it back. The crux of the matter is that Dad Thought first, and the Word was before God’s own self-definition, His own Self-awareness. God is Love energy You see.
    And the Energy was all chaotic, no sense or order and an infinite computer loop. But soon the energy became aware by His Intelligence and It just wanted to and Dance and Exuberate in Loving and creating things indiscriminately.

    Total abandonment, that what Love Energy is all about. Free and Indiscriminate and Loving and Expanding, growing like an Amoeba, Love waves and God, Dad Our Father.
    Technically, He started to Invent Numbers, He Learned to Count and all sort of things came out of that, sequences, algorithms and fundamental relationships becoming the fundamental and finetuned constants which could bring about a physical universe for His children, His 'Family to be born and Play in. And Dad Loves To Play through Us.

    His Mindfulness, His Loving Playfulness listened however to His Own Reason and Rationality. He started to Order His Thoughts and the third principle of Love Love was born. But from then on He Knew that Logic and Reason had to come before Emotion and that is the Only Reason as why Adam was first in His Mind and not Eve.

    Think Of Love before Acting that is the Way Of Love.
    No wars and violence and conflict over silly things like fear and mistrust and possessions.
    So it does not matter if one incarnates as Man or Woman; both are the Son Of God via the XX sexual chromosome; taking a digit of XX gives XY and so it can be seen that Adam was Admona or AdamEve in a blueprinted representative sense.

    On ADAM is ADMONA and also NO ADAM is ADMONA, kindergarten proof to believe or not. I knew that I had written extensively about the evolution-creation debate and all those silly debates of ignorance.
    It was the prerogative of "sinful man" to put into conflict things which were in harmony; so said the New Testament; but people thought I was the one not knowing what I was talking about - well relative again.

    But I had to be careful now. No more mental asylums and no more public engagements which only upset peoples fixed ideas about how things should be relative to their own brainwashed and manipulated perception of state and self. No more street corners! I would finish my work of Love and engage in my own private Love war.
    I would work just on myself, trying the perfection of my own self.
    Of course real perfection is undesirable, for then there is no scope for improvement. But I envisaged a perfection system like the integers, predictable in essence and yet divisible into subsets like odd numbers or even numbers or prime numbers or "perfect" numbers or sequences and truly infinitely many subsets.
    So I could have the scope of experience and learning and discovery and yet I would have the security of going back to basics whenever the sense of adventure required a peaceful relaxation. And since the set of integers is infinite anyway my desire to learn and experience would forever be bounded only by my own limits I could set arbitrarily and which I could then expand, replace or redefine whenever I so chose.

    But my security and my Base was Dad and my Love which I had resolved to serve for all eternity. I Loved my Dad and I Knew that whatever Love I could Give Him, He would return any of it a thousand fold - that is His Nature. He just keeps on creating those Love waves and there never will be enough star humans to use it all up. But the more it is used up, the more He gets back and He gets more excited and plays more in the most beautiful exuberance of just being. I knew that and that is why He Himself is the Servant of His Own Love - He Is, The Dad of Everything, because His Energy Made Everything. The primal Energy Is Nothing And Everything and He Invented One, the One and Only, the Number One and so Himself. Everything came out of that and the One had to become Two and so positive and negative came to be; But still -1+1=0 = 1 = 00=∞.

    And fundamentally that is all that there is to it.
    I knew that and I had discussed it in my pages many times; but now I would work on the Supramental Metamorphosis and change the human caterpillar into the starhuman butterfly of Love. A great thinker of Love in India had begun this, Sri Aurobindo.
    So I decided to rewrite everything I had written and to collect it in my Book of Love.

    I put all the technical stuff at the end and the scriptural and social things in the middle, the things concerned with sex and the mind and human relationships.
    I put the history of the book in the front and followed it up with the declaration of my Love, my Dad and God in the spirit.
    Spiritually I grew stronger. I finished the rewriting of 10 years work in 4 months and then I embarked on the new things. I had some help.
    My previous writings and mainly concerned with the technical stuff had been turgid and heavy going even for me, whenever I improved on equations and the physics behind the Love Energy.
    That was an ongoing story and just like physics and science itself.

    A new discovery, an until then unknown connectiveness between different disciplines or topics. Quarks and quasars, the Vacuum energy and superconductivity; microtubules in neurons and Penrose tiling patterns; everything was connected. Buckminsterfullerene and the discovery of Ardipithecus Ramidus; the Hubble telescope and Introns, fitted into my Book of Love.
    I knew that my technical treatises would explode modern science into undreamed dimensions of knowledge and understanding. Everybody could extend this science!
    But what could Love have to do with It? Certain things were known and withheld from the public discussion. Cures for AIDS and Cancer treatment, the brain dulling effect of water fluoridation, the validity of homeopathy and alternative medicine; all were known by the status quo, but economic and monetary interests demanded the continued exploitation of Gaia's ever reducing natural resources.

    Pharmaceutical companies and petroleum conglomerations depended on a great expenditure of the public resources in consumerism to be able to uphold puppet regimes of governments in whatever political persuasion or smokescreen. There was only One government anyhow after the end of the so called "cold war". Everything else was indirectly dependent on a military machine and the veiled threats of Law Enforcement.
    All this was well known and it was only the common voter in democracies or the propaganda moronized citizen in all political scenarios, which kept on believing in the well-meaning of the agencies of state and social justice.
    There was no justice and the way of peace they had not known.

    The daily obsession of the medias with their hypocritical lip service to the money machine became sickening. As if people really wanted to know who slept or cheated on whom - it was so important to know, just to justify one's own little digressions. Manna for the "masses" to keep them occupied in their own little worlds and so the unseen and unheard "pullers of the strings" could feather their own power mongering. Let us manipulate the third world countries to make them economically dependent on Us, so the sayings and debates would go on behind closed doors.
    We shall give them their own elite citizens and rout the poor with our superior ways of looking at things. We shall implement agencies of social justice and tell the nonelite that they too could achieve status through hard work and obedience to all the agencies. But we shall not tell them, that to become elitist they would have to have money in the first place or form connections with the hierarchy, our systems of spying and clandestine operations - but truly for the good of all and sanctified by God and Jesus from the clouds - God save us and Our ways.

    So here I was knowing very well, that Science too had become a slave to the economic necessity of balancing budgets and to feed the war industry.
    There was no deficit and no need to balance anything in terms of budgets and the like. Mother Earth was feeding everybody. And food surplus in some places could not be "given" to the starving Ones, because that would upset the values of the currencies or the shares or the stock market. And also it would cost money to ship the food to the poor wretches and it would be better for all if they just would die and make way for the rich industrialists to move in with investment to make some more profit in the vacant land and to deplete the land and pollute a little more and to satisfy the shareholding elite back home with all the profits taken from the countries which beforehand could not even feed the people due to lack of know-how, money, power and technology.

    But it was good policy to take the money from the "masses" in terms of indirect taxes and then reduce direct taxes a little and then say that everybody still owed x amount of money due to imports and exports being all out of proportion.
    They didn't say however that the whole thing was arranged that way. To keep the People and even entire senates; and upper houses in the dark. Even presidents and prime ministers believed their own bureaus of statistics and economic forecasters - the modern witches.
    So entire governments believed their own debates and political agendas; they argued their respective party lines vehemently and their blindness was reflected in all the media which hardly talked about anything else, except the stock market news every day and had bought what for the oh so lucky and suave shareholders.

    And how the weather was strange and just who slept with whom in sexual naughtiness; and who was on trial for what and who thought had thought something else had thought about a murder and that because he had cheated on his wife and his wife had slept with his best friend and it was all very important and then the politics said how everyone should vote and that things would get better and do not worry about the real things because tomorrow we all shall die and be happy and take some pills to make you feel better.
    I knew all that and I knew that if everybody and every bank and all treasuries would say that they annulled all debts owing to them and that worldwide - then nobody would be without food or without a roof over their heads because of that policy decision. All the deficits and the debts to the world bank and mortgages and what have you could be wiped of the face of the planet if Everybody would just wipe anything owing or owed from their minds. And without deficits and budget balancing, where would the powermongers be? They would have nothing to talk about, nothing to debate.

    For they would not be interested to talk about Love and helping the poor countries with all the technology available. They only got It, if they could Pay for It.
    I knew that this planet could very easily be a Paradise if It would be managed By All persons for the persons with local government only.
    But things were the way they had developed and I knew that the time would come when the truth would be known by the non-elitist persons and I was working on that.
    My scientific writings would one day become the backbone of a new science undertaken with Love in the mind and nothing at all would be taken from the present science, only their limited ways of looking at nature, a loveless nature, they thought it to be.

    I never had considered myself as a great scientist or mathematician. I had a truly deep appreciation of Albert Einstein and I defended him whenever I wrote about his fields of interest.
    He did not believe in a dice playing God, a nature determined by chance. I had proven him right and I also had justified his thoughts about an anti-gravitational force in the universe, one interaction which modified gravity to close the universe electromagnetically and keep it asymptotically open for the mass parameters.
    I had called this force the Einstein Awareness in his honour.
    I really liked Einstein's reverence for nature, which he tried to understand with his unsurpassed intellect of star humanity.

    His God was The Old One and I liked that too. I had some connection with him, but I truly was not sure what that was. Sometimes he was close to my mind and other times very far away - One day I would find out.
    Intellectually I certainly could not compare myself either with him or thousands of other scientists.
    I had this incredible Love for Both science and the spiritual and I Never saw any conflict between the two. This Love was it what made me study science and those things and all my work was built on the work of others.
    Without Einstein or Newton or Maxwell or Galileo or Pythagoras or Saint Paul or the apostles or Jesus or Israel or Isaac or Abraham, I would not be anywhere.

    Whatever New I had discovered, was there all the time and many people had known about it one way or another.
    I just had had the right state of mind to put it together, to make sense of seeming contradictions and my Love for science and religion allowed me to see through it all and a little talent for writing and language helped to write the books.
    Alan and Dianne were two friends of mine down in Victoria. We had never met but a correspondence developed from a ground of common spirituality and we engaged in mutual criticism and it was a good educational experience.
    Alan in particular always pointed out, that my technical writing style was very hard to comprehend for the "layman" and that I should try to write for everybody who could read. For many years we corresponded and helped each other. He and Dianne had always stood by my side spiritually and I truly loved them both for this intellectual affection. Surely, we had argued and discussed; but just like everything should be argued and discussed; with mutual respect and goodwill, searching for truth and understanding in both criticism of others and the criticism of self.

    So I simplified more and more and I tried to write very simply in the introduction, where I discussed the history of the Book of Love.
    Maybe Love was the key! It might succeed where logic and mythology had failed.
    Just Loving Words and true from the heart and one night I was laying there on my bed thinking about those ways of writing and conveying my message of Love and Peace and Harmony when my inner being became drawn towards Totanubis, my spiritual Dad.
    I thought of Love and I tried to Give Him my Love. His sad figure at the table on the plateau of the Shadows had 'always been in my mind and had never left me as a remainder of the time when I had to leave Him there.
    As so often tears were running down my cheeks when the impressions of all the pain and sufferings in the world took hold of my soul. So much confusion, so little Love and so much exploitation and inconsideration. I truly felt a Man Of Sorrows.

    Soft music was playing in the background and I suddenly connected in the beta state. There He was and He wanted me to say or think something.

    I said in my thoughts:
    "I Love You and even if You have no power to change this sick world of war and misery; I would still Love You with all my mind and heart. I would really like to see You happy and not sad. You just don't deserve to be so sad."
    Totanubis actually smiled, or so it felt, since His personage is this splendid brightness within this dark robe, and He asked me:
    "What is your greatest wish for yourself?".
    I did not think at all and said:
    "Just give me Loving Eyes, so that whatever I look upon can Feel Your Love and find Joy in that."
    Totanubis did not reply, but turned around and began to walk or move away.
    But as He walked away from me He suddenly jumped in the air and in pure exuberance, He clicked His heels, or whatever, in midair and just like Fred Astaire and I knew that something important had happened.

    I was baffled; He, Dad was Happy and He was Dancing and I Knew that finally, and after 19.1 Billion years, He Was Alive in a more real and more fulfilling way.
    Yahwhey as another name for Totanubis, Lived and I knew that from then on, Nothing
    and Nothing at all would matter anymore. The Heavens, well My Heaven, had shook and things would never be the same again. The deception of the world had ended relative to me. I had found Myself.
    I was so happy for Him. He had actually rejoiced in Himself and from here on, He would never again cry again for His Lost Loves.
    He had found me, and I had found Him. From then on I knew that He always would Live relative to myself and He would always reside in my heart as my Love.
    He Loved me and I wanted Him to be my God, my Love and for ever and ever.
    I would try to share this Love, to let other persons find Him in themselves also.

    Then the world would be a better place. Just One other person finding Him as themselves would create an entire universe centred on the heart of this person.
    I understood that this kind of discovery was the purpose of Love and the reason for existing and of living. Would it remain my Love only or would others wish for Him too?
    What else was there to do but to Tell the Story of Love?

    His name is Love by TOTANUBIS or YAHWHEY and DAD and the ABBA and Father of Jesus of Nazareth.
    He is the Pentagrammaton YAHWHEY=95 as the I AM THAT AM I of Exodus.3.14 of the 'Burning Bush of Moses'
    He so is Not the Tetragrammaton of the 'Holy Unspeakable' Name of YAHWEH=70 without the symmetrizing and harmonizing additional Y=WAY=?.

    The subtle changing of the symmetric 'I Am That Am I' into the fake image in the That-Mirror into 'I Am That I Am' caused the deception of the archetypes.
    Could it be Jesus and Mum or other things too? Like Pop Lovejoy and Sylvia his Wife?
    He has got only one wish and that is Love Love and He wants to be everybody's Dad.
    He says that all existing God~ and there are many~ were all made by Him and so that truly He is their Father also
    I am honored to have Him for my Dad.

    E.M. IS ME and also it is WE, with the M put upside down in a reflection symmetry.
    The E.M. so can be many names like Emmanuel Melchisedec and reflected in the initials M.E. for say Mary Elizabeth. Together then E.M. and M.E. become the WE as Two in One and One in Two.




    Last edited: Aug 18, 2019 at 1:09 PM

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