Mikael Howerton ~ I Tell You, You Are Not Alone !!!

Today’s Devotion:
We Are What We Choose to Be

By Dennis Binns


Why do bad things happen to good people?

A question often asked by many.

Do we not know that one of the greatest gifts Elohiym

has given us is that of free will and the ability to choose?

Bad things happen at times because we have chosen to stray from our path.

During these times we have lost sight of our spirit and have looked outward to the world
for answers or actions.

It is during these times that we allow evil into our hearts and those around us.

Our hearts become hard and sadly we fail to see what our choices have given us.

He does not intervene most of the time because he uses these lessons to strengthen us.

Sometimes we fail to see this, and we start blaming him for not stepping in.

We cannot go through life blaming him when it us who is at fault.

We need to practice looking inward always for guidance during our journey.

We are here to learn. Learn to love.

Learn to help those in need.

Learn to be more responsive to others and less to ourselves.

The second greatest gift is that of prayer.

We have the ability to pray.

When we pray, we need to consider it as if we are speaking to our Creator
and less of being a friend.

We converse with him, however, as if speaking with a friend.

But we often times do not thank him enough of what he has given us.

We tend to send out requests and little thanks.

It has been my belief that He already knows our needs before we do.

Therefore, our prayers should be for thanking him more than sending out requests.

He deserves the respect for the creation and the blessings he has given.

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing
with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”

~Romans 8:18

• 
  
  Mikael Howerton says:
  Freedom of will.
  Good people don’t do bad things to bad people,
  only bad people do bad things to good people.
  
  Know that nothing goes unseen
  and The FATHER will Judge all good and bad in the end.
  
  Remember your character is your frequency
  or key that shall open the door of Heaven.
  
  You will become what you do to others,
  you will not become what others do to you.
  
  This is the separation of the wheat and the tares.
  
  Choose not to be a tare = narcissist, sociopath
  or psychopath for their thoughts
  or frequency will not permit them to open the door

 

A PATH TO PEACE

Mikael Howerton

 

Mikael Howerton
May 16, 2020 ·
“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities,

against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world,

against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

For we wrestle against thoughts!

Thoughts are what lead you to a way of behavior!

Thoughts are what make everything you see in the world!

Those who are narcissistic, sociopaths

and psychopaths follow certain thoughts!

As those who are compassionate, patient

and empathic follow certain thoughts!

We seek information!

Thoughts are information as chemicals are information!

The choice will be yours to choose the information or thoughts you believe or follow!

What Are The Weapons At Our Disposal?

But God in all of His wisdom never would have left us down here to fight an enemy

that we were not equipped to overcome.

So He gave us weapons that are for us to use against the wiles of the adversary.

That is, providing that we are not too lazy to use what He gave us.

Because there are those who are willfully defeated by the enemy,

not putting to use that which God hath given.

First of all, we have the weapon of prayer.

This should be the first line of defense against the adversary, prayer.

It should be the first thing that we do when trouble comes

because it is what we should have been doing all the time.

The reason why some people are so weak that they cannot handle

a fight is because prayer is what strengthens us.

And if you wait until the enemy attacks us to start praying,

you are already at a disadvantage.

But if you know how to pray and pray right,

he said that whatsoever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven;

and whatsoever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

And when the devil hears you call on the Name of Yahshua ,

demons start trembling and strongholds have to loose.....

Diseases dry up when you pray in the authority that Yahshua gave.

That power comes in knowing what the FATHER wants for you!

Always focus on what is Good not on what is bad!

Always focus on what you want to happen, not what you don't want to happen!

Next, there is the gift of fasting.

Yahshua taught that there are certain spiritual enemies that we fight that will only be defeated

by a combination of prayer and fasting.

They are looking to inhabit a body that gives into the cravings that they desire to partake in!

Fasting denies them that pleasure and they will leave seeking another host!

Thoughts seek to live through us!

Some thoughts are parasites, some help keep you alive!

You must come to know the difference!

Fasting kills the flesh and brings a spiritual awareness of the power that God has given.

It makes us aware of spiritual things and aides us in our endeavors to be more like Yahshua,

as it makes us to understand what is going on in the
spiritual world all around us.

Then there are the angels or thoughts

The Bibles says in Psalms 34:7 that The angel/thought of the Lord encampeth round

about them that fear him, and delivereth them.

I thank God for his angels/thoughts

There are times in your life when God's angels/thoughts are fighting for you and you don't even know it.

But the enemy is releasing things in the heavenlies

because the angels/thoughts of the Lord have gone to war on your behalf.

My mind goes back to the story of Daniel and how that he prayed to God for the space of three weeks.

Notice that he didn't stop praying just because things had not changed,

this is spiritual warfare.

And while he was praying, the devil thought to hold up

his answer / thought from the Lord.

But Michael, that warring angel, went hand to hand with the adversary

and loosed Daniel's answer from the Lord.

Sometimes God has sent the answer / thought and the enemy tries to hold it up,

but the angels /thoughts are there to assist me in my victory.

Finally, there is the weapon that the saints of old really understood,

the power of the blood.

This is one weapon that the enemy can't stand.

The blood represents the ultimate defeat.

Whenever the enemy would attack people years ago,

it was common for the saints

to do what they called "Plead the Blood"!

When they were rebuking the devil,

they would say one of the most damaging things

to the ears of the devil.....

They would comfront him with the words "Satan, the Blood is against you!"

The good seeks to fight off all viruses, bacteria and fungus!

The blood that is full of all the chemical nutrients can fight off all bacteria,

viruses and any other fungus or parasites!

Same goes with thoughts, thoughts are chemicals!

For every thought that Satan sends to weaken you,

GOD has a thought that can neutralize Satan's thought!

If the devil don't like what he hears, the only way he can cover his ears

is to let go of what belongs to you!

To Wrestle Means "Hand To Hand" Combat!

Remember every thought leads to an action!

We are constantly wrestling with one thought or another,

depending which ones you allow take over your house/mind will determine

the physical manifestation of those thoughts!

You will know my children by their fruits!

And this is the reason why to change many things,

you must be willing to struggle and go to war,

even if it means that you've got to sweat

and get dirty in the process.

To wrestle denotes hand to hand combat.

Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life

You've already won, but you still have to fight.

The devil would love to ruin you,

but the power to succeed is in your hands.FIGHT!

Don't allow the enemy to ruin you or anyone else that you know.

Your family is worth fighting for.

Your health is worth fighting for.

Your peace of mind is worth fighting for.

Your family's souls are worth fighting for.

If you have to roll up your sleeves and go hand to hand, fight for it.

Tell that drug addict son, "I'm fighting for you!"

Tell your daughter the stripper, "I'm fighting for you!"

Tell them that you've prayed too long to see them just die and go to hell.

Tell them that you've prayed too long to lose them to the streets.

Fight for them until they see the need to fight for themselves.

And if one GODLY thought can put a thousand Satanic thoughts

to flight and two can put ten thousand to flight,

then sooner or later, everything around me will be covered

by the power of Gods thoughts!

While you're fighting, remember that a thousand shall fall at thy side,

ten thousand at thy right hand,

but it shall not come nigh thee.

The time to stand behind the thoughts you believe in is here!

The separation of the wheats and tares is upon you!

You will not be luke warm !
~Mikael Howerton

 

YOUR MOVES
by Mikael Howerton

Mikael HowertonFOR THE ELECTS SAKE
March 5 ·
Understanding the Tares : Do not be ignorant of Satan's psychological devices.

Know that these always seek positions of authority, they have infiltrated all high places,

their roots run deep! They shall all be removed!

You will know my children by their fruits!

The fruits of my children are love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law! You will also know Satan's children
by their fruit!

There are six things that the FATHER hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:

haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,

a heart that devises wicked plans,

feet that make haste to run to evil,

a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers

Satan's children such as malignant narcissists, psychopaths

and those with antisocial traits engage in maladaptive behaviors

in relationships that ultimately exploit, demean

and hurt their intimate partners, family members and friends.

They use a plethora of diversionary tactics that distort the reality

of their victims and deflect responsibility.

Although those who are not narcissistic can employ these tactics as well,

abusive narcissists use these to an excessive extent in an effort

to escape accountability for their actions.

Here are the diversionary tactics Satanic people use to silence and degrade you.

1. Gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that can be described in different variations of three words:

“That didn’t happen,” “You imagined it,” and “Are you crazy?”
\
"that's just a conspiracy theory"

Gaslighting is perhaps one of the most insidious manipulative tactics out there

because it works to distort and erode your sense of reality;

it eats away at your ability to trust yourself and inevitably

disables you from feeling justified in calling out abuse and mistreatment.

When a narcissist, sociopath or psychopath gaslights you,

you may be prone to gaslighting yourself as a way

to reconcile the cognitive dissonance that might arise.

Two conflicting beliefs battle it out:

is this person right or can I trust what I experienced?

A manipulative person will convince you that the former

is an inevitable truth while the latter is a sign of dysfunction on your end.

In order to resist gaslighting, it’s important to ground yourself in your own reality

– sometimes writing things down as they happened,

telling a friend or reiterating your experience

to a support network can help to counteract the gaslighting effect.

The power of having a validating community is that it can redirect you from the distorted reality

of a malignant person and back to your own inner guidance.

2. Projection.

One sure sign of toxicity is when a person

is chronically unwilling to see his or her own shortcomings

and uses everything in their power to avoid being held accountable for them.

This is known as projection. Projection is a defense mechanism

used to displace responsibility of one’s negative behavior and traits

by attributing them to someone else.

It ultimately acts as a digression that avoids ownership and accountability.

While we all engage in projection to some extent, according to Narcissistic Personality

clinical expert Dr. Martinez-Lewi, the projections of a narcissist are often psychologically abusive.

Rather than acknowledge their own flaws, imperfections and wrongdoings, malignant narcissists

and sociopaths opt to dump their own traits on their unsuspecting suspects

in a way that is painful and excessively cruel.

Instead of admitting that self-improvement may be in order,

they would prefer that their victims take responsibility

for their behavior and feel ashamed of themselves.

This is a way for a narcissist to project any toxic shame

they have about themselves onto another.

For example, a person who engages in pathological lying

may accuse their partner of fibbing;

a needy spouse may call their husband “clingy” in an attempt

to depict them as the one who is dependent;

a rude employee may call their boss ineffective in an effort

to escape the truth about their own productivity.

Narcissistic abusers love to play the “blameshifting game.”

Objectives of the game: they win, you lose, and you or the world

at large is blamed for everything that’s wrong with them.

This way, you get to babysit their fragile ego

while you’re thrust into a sea of self-doubt. Fun, right?

Solution? Don’t “project” your own sense of compassion

or empathy onto a toxic person

and don’t own any of the toxic person’s projections either.

As manipulation expert and author Dr. George Simon (2010) notes in his book In Sheep’s Clothing,

projecting our own conscience and value system onto others has the potential consequence

of being met with further exploitation.

Narcissists on the extreme end of the spectrum usually have no interest in self-insight or change. \

It’s important to cut ties and end interactions with toxic people as soon as possible

so you can get centered in your own reality and validate your own identity.

You don’t have to live in someone else’s cesspool of dysfunction.

3. Nonsensical conversations from hell.

If you think you’re going to have a thoughtful discussion with someone who is toxic,

be prepared for epic mindfuckery rather than conversational mindfulness.

Malignant narcissists and sociopaths use word salad, circular conversations,

ad hominem arguments, projection and gaslighting to disorient you and get you off track

should you ever disagree with them or challenge them in any way.

They do this in order to discredit, confuse and frustrate you,

distract you from the main problem and make you feel guilty

for being a human being with actual thoughts and feelings that might differ from their own.

In their eyes, you are the problem if you happen to exist.

Spend even ten minutes arguing with a toxic narcissist and you’ll find yourself wondering

how the argument even began at all.

You simply disagreed with them about their absurd claim that the sky is red

and now your entire childhood, family, friends, career and lifestyle choices have come under attack.

That is because your disagreement picked at their false belief that they are omnipotent and omniscient,

resulting in a narcissistic injury.

Remember: toxic people don’t argue with you, they essentially argue with themselves

and you become privy to their long, draining monologues.

They thrive off the drama and they live for it. Each and every time you attempt

to provide a point that counters their ridiculous assertions, you feed them supply.

Don’t feed the narcissists supply

– rather, supply yourself with the confirmation that their abusive behavior

is the problem, not you.

Cut the interaction short as soon as you anticipate it escalating

and use your energy on some decadent self-care instead.

4. Blanket statements and generalizations.

Malignant narcissists aren’t always intellectual masterminds

– many of them are intellectually lazy.

Rather than taking the time to carefully consider a different perspective,

they generalize anything and everything you say,

making blanket statements that don’t acknowledge the nuances

in your argument or take into account the multiple perspectives you’ve paid homage to.

Better yet, why not put a label on you that dismisses your perspective altogether?

On a larger scale, generalizations and blanket statements invalidate experiences

that don’t fit in the unsupported assumptions, schemas and stereotypes of society;

they are also used to maintain the status quo. This form of digression exaggerates

one perspective to the point where a social justice issue can become completely obscured.

For example, rape accusations against well-liked figures are often met with the reminder

that there are false reports of rape that occur.

While those do occur, they are rare, and in this case,

the actions of one become labeled the behavior of the majority

while the specific report itself remains unaddressed.

These everyday microaggressions also happen in toxic relationships.

If you bring up to a narcissistic abuser that their behavior is unacceptable for example,

they will often make blanket generalizations about your hypersensitivity

or make a generalization such as, “You are never satisfied,” or

“You’re always too sensitive” rather than addressing the real issues at hand.

It’s possible that you are oversensitive at times,

but it is also possible that the abuser is also insensitive and cruel the majority of the time.

Hold onto your truth and resist generalizing statements by realizing that they are in fact forms

of black and white illogical thinking.

Toxic people wielding blanket statements do not represent the full richness of experience

– they represent the limited one of their singular experience and overinflated sense of self.

5. Deliberately misrepresenting your thoughts and feelings to the point of absurdity.

In the hands of a malignant narcissist or sociopath, your differing opinions,

legitimate emotions and lived experiences get translated into character flaws

and evidence of your irrationality.

Narcissists weave tall tales to reframe what you’re actually saying as a way

to make your opinions look absurd or heinous.

Let’s say you bring up the fact that you’re unhappy

with the way a toxic friend is speaking to you.

In response, he or she may put words in your mouth, saying,

“Oh, so now you’re perfect?” or “So I am a bad person, huh?”

when you’ve done nothing but express your feelings.

This enables them to invalidate your right to have thoughts and emotions

about their inappropriate behavior and instills in you a sense of guilt when you attempt to establish boundaries.

This is also a popular form of diversion and cognitive distortion that is known as “mind reading.”

Toxic people often presume they know what you’re thinking and feeling.

They chronically jump to conclusions based on their own triggers

rather than stepping back to evaluate the situation mindfully.

They act accordingly based on their own delusions and fallacies and make no apologies

for the harm they cause as a result. Notorious for putting words in your mouth,

they depict you as having an intention or outlandish viewpoint you didn’t possess.

They accuse you of thinking of them as toxic

– even before you’ve gotten the chance to call them out on their behavior

– and this also serves as a form of preemptive defense.

Simply stating, “I never said that,” and walking away should the person

continue to accuse you of doing or saying something you didn’t can help

to set a firm boundary in this type of interaction.

So long as the toxic person can blameshift and digress from their own behavior,

they have succeeded in convincing you that you should be “shamed” for giving them

any sort of realistic feedback.

6. Nitpicking and moving the goal posts.

The difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism is the presence

of a personal attack and impossible standards.

These so-called “critics” often don’t want to help you improve, they just want to nitpick,

pull you down and scapegoat you in any way they can.

Abusive narcissists and sociopaths employ a logical fallacy known as “moving the goalposts”

in order to ensure that they have every reason to be perpetually dissatisfied with you.

This is when, even after you’ve provided all the evidence in the world to validate your argument

or taken an action to meet their request, they set up another expectation of you or demand more proof.

Do you have a successful career? The narcissist will then start to pick on why you aren’t a multi-millionaire yet.

Did you already fulfill their need to be excessively catered to? Now it’s time to prove that you can also remain “independent.”

The goal posts will perpetually change and may not even be related to each other;

they don’t have any other point besides making you vie for the narcissist’s approval and validation.

By raising the expectations higher and higher each time or switching them completely,

highly manipulative and toxic people are able to instill in you a pervasive sense of unworthiness

and of never feeling quite “enough.”

By pointing out one irrelevant fact or one thing you did wrong and developing a hyperfocus on it,

narcissists get to divert from your strengths and pull you into obsessing over any flaws or weaknesses instead.

They get you thinking about the next expectation of theirs you’re going to have to meet

– until eventually you’ve bent over backwards trying to fulfill their every need

– only to realize it didn’t change the horrific way they treated you.

Don’t get sucked into nitpicking and changing goal posts

– if someone chooses to rehash an irrelevant point over and over again to the point

where they aren’t acknowledging the work you’ve done to validate your point or satisfy them, their motive isn’t to better understand.

It’s to further provoke you into feeling as if you have to constantly prove yourself.

Validate and approve of yourself.

Know that you are enough and you don’t have to be made to feel constantly deficient or unworthy in some way.


7. Changing the subject to evade accountability.

This type of tactic is what I like to call the “What about me?” syndrome.

It is a literal digression from the actual topic that works to redirect attention to a different issue altogether.

Narcissists don’t want you to be on the topic of holding them accountable for anything, so they will reroute discussions to benefit them. Complaining about their neglectful parenting? They’ll point out a mistake you committed seven years ago.

This type of diversion has no limits in terms of time or subject content,

and often begins with a sentence like “What about the time when…”

On a macrolevel, these diversions work to derail discussions that challenge the status quo.

A discussion about gay rights, for example, may be derailed quickly by someone

who brings in another social justice issue just to distract people from the main argument.

As Tara Moss, author of Speaking Out: A 21st Century Handbook for Women and Girls, notes,

specificity is needed in order to resolve and address issues appropriately

– that doesn’t mean that the issues that are being brought up don’t matter,\

it just means that the specific time and place may not be the best context to discuss them.

Don’t be derailed – if someone pulls a switcheroo on you, you can exercise

what I call the “broken record” method and continue stating the facts

without giving in to their distractions. Redirect their redirection by saying,

“That’s not what I am talking about. Let’s stay focused on the real issue.”

If they’re not interested, disengage and spend your energy on something more constructive

– like not having a debate with someone who has the mental age of a toddler.

8. Covert and overt threats.

Narcissistic abusers and otherwise toxic people feel very threatened when their excessive sense of entitlement,

false sense of superiority and grandiose sense of self are challenged in any way.

They are prone to making unreasonable demands on others

– while punishing you for not living up to their impossible to reach expectations.

Rather than tackle disagreements or compromises maturely, they set out to divert you

from your right to have your own identity and perspective by attempting to instill fear

in you about the consequences of disagreeing or complying with their demands.

To them, any challenge results in an ultimatum and “do this or I’ll do that” becomes their daily mantra.

If someone’s reaction to you setting boundaries or having a differing opinion from your own is to threaten you into submission,

whether it’s a thinly veiled threat or an overt admission of what they plan to do, this is a red flag of someone

who has a high degree of entitlement and has no plans of compromising.

Take threats seriously and show the narcissist you mean business; document threats

and report them whenever possible and legally feasible.


9. Name-calling.

Narcissists preemptively blow anything they perceive as a threat to their superiority out of proportion. In their world,

only they can ever be right and anyone who dares to say otherwise creates a narcissistic injury that results in narcissistic rage.

As Mark Goulston, M.D. asserts, narcissistic rage does not result from low self-esteem

but rather a high sense of entitlement and false sense of superiority.

The lowest of the low resort to narcissistic rage in the form of name-calling when they can’t think

of a better way to manipulate your opinion or micromanage your emotions.

Name-calling is a quick and easy way to put you down, degrade you and insult your intelligence,

appearance or behavior while invalidating your right to be a separate person with a right to his or her perspective.

Name-calling can also be used to criticize your beliefs, opinions and insights.

A well-researched perspective or informed opinion suddenly becomes “silly” or “idiotic” in the hands

of a malignant narcissist or sociopath who feels threatened by it

and cannot make a respectful, convincing rebuttal.

Rather than target your argument, they target you as a person

and seek to undermine your credibility

and intelligence in any way they possibly can.

It’s important to end any interaction that consists of name-calling

and communicate that you won’t tolerate it.

Don’t internalize it: realize that they are resorting to name-calling

because they are deficient in higher level methods.

Want more writing about the narcissistic sociopath?

Read the book POWER: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse by Shahida Arabi.
power-book

10. Destructive conditioning.

Toxic people condition you to associate your strengths, talents,

and happy memories with abuse, frustration and disrespect.

They do this by sneaking in covert and overt put-downs

about the qualities and traits they once idealized

as well as sabotaging your goals, ruining celebrations, vacations and holidays.

They may even isolate you from your friends and family

and make you financially dependent upon them.

Like Pavlov’s dogs, you’re essentially “trained” over time to become afraid

of doing the very things that once made your life fulfilling.

Narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths and otherwise toxic people do this

because they wish to divert attention back

to themselves and how you’re going to please them.

If there is anything outside of them that may threaten their control over your life,

they seek to destroy it.

They need to be the center of attention at all times.

In the idealization phase, you were once the center of a narcissist’s world

– now the narcissist becomes the center of yours.

Narcissists are also naturally pathologically envious and don’t want anything to come in

between them and their influence over you.

Your happiness represents everything they feel they cannot have in their emotionally shallow lives.

After all, if you learn that you can get validation, respect and love from other sources

besides the toxic person, what’s to keep you from leaving them?

To toxic people, a little conditioning can go a long way to keep you walking

on eggshells and falling just short of your big dreams.

11. Smear campaigns and stalking.

When toxic types can’t control the way you see yourself, they start to control how others see you;

they play the martyr while you’re labeled the toxic one.

A smear campaign is a preemptive strike to sabotage your reputation and slander your name

so that you won’t have a support network to fall back on lest you decide to detach and cut ties with this toxic person.

They may even stalk and harass you or the people you know as a way to supposedly “expose” the truth about you;

this exposure acts as a way to hide their own abusive behavior while projecting it onto you.

Some smear campaigns can even work to pit two people or two groups against each other.

A victim in an abusive relationship with a narcissist often doesn’t know what’s being said

about them during the relationship, but they eventually find out the falsehoods shortly after they’ve been discarded.

Toxic people will gossip behind your back (and in front of your face), slander you to your loved ones or their loved ones,

create stories that depict you as the aggressor while they play the victim, and claim that you engaged in the same behaviors

that they are afraid you will accuse them of engaging in.

They will also methodically, covertly and deliberately abuse you so they can use your reactions as a way

to prove that they are the so-called “victims” of your abuse.

The best way to handle a smear campaign is to stay mindful of your reactions and stick to the facts.

This is especially pertinent for high-conflict divorces with narcissists who may use your reactions

to their provocations against you. Document any form of harassment, cyberbullying

or stalking incidents and always speak to your narcissist through a lawyer whenever possible.

You may wish to take legal action if you feel the stalking and harassment is getting out of control;

finding a lawyer who is well-versed in Narcissistic Personality Disorder is crucial if that’s the case.

Your character and integrity will speak for itself when the narcissist’s false mask begins to slip.

12. Love-bombing and devaluation.

Toxic people put you through an idealization phase until you’re sufficiently hooked and invested

in beginning a friendship or relationship with you.

Then, they begin to devalue you while insulting the very things they admired in the first place.

Another variation of this is when a toxic individual puts you on a pedestal while aggressively devaluing

and attacking someone else who threatens their sense of superiority.

Narcissistic abusers do this all the time – they devalue their exes to their new partners,

and eventually the new partner starts to receive the same sort of mistreatment as the narcissist’s ex-partner.

Ultimately what will happen is that you will also be on the receiving end of the same abuse.

You will one day be the ex-partner they degrade to their new source of supply.

You just don’t know it yet. That’s why it’s important to stay mindful of the love-bombing technique

whenever you witness behavior that doesn’t align with the saccharine sweetness a narcissist subjects you to.

As life coach Wendy Powell suggests, slowing things down with people you suspect may be toxic

is an important way of combating the love-bombing technique.

Be wary of the fact that how a person treats or speaks about someone else

could potentially translate into the way they will treat you in the future.

13. Preemptive defense.

When someone stresses the fact that they are a “nice guy” or girl,

that you should “trust them” right away or emphasizes their credibility

without any provocation from you whatsoever, be wary.

Toxic and abusive people overstate their ability to be kind and compassionate.

They often tell you that you should “trust” them without first building

a solid foundation of trust.

They may “perform” a high level of sympathy and empathy

at the beginning of your relationship to dupe you,

only to unveil their false mask later on.

When you see their false mask begins to slip periodically

during the devaluation phase of the abuse cycle,

the true self is revealed to be terrifyingly cold, callous and contemptuous.

Genuinely nice people rarely have to persistently show off their positive qualities

– they exude their warmth more than they talk about it

and they know that actions speak volumes more than mere words.

They know that trust and respect is a two-way street that requires reciprocity, not repetition.

To counter a preemptive defense, reevaluate why a person may be emphasizing their good qualities.

Is it because they think you don’t trust them, or because they know you shouldn’t?

Trust actions more than empty words and see how someone’s actions communicate who they are,

not who they say they are.

14. Triangulation.

Bringing in the opinion, perspective or suggested threat of another person into the dynamic

of an interaction is known as “triangulation.”

Often used to validate the toxic person’s abuse while invalidating the victim’s reactions to abuse,

triangulation can also work to manufacture love triangles that leave you feeling unhinged and insecure.

Malignant narcissists love to triangulate their significant other with strangers, co-workers, ex-partners,

friends and even family members in order to evoke jealousy and uncertainty in you.

They also use the opinions of others to validate their point of view.

This is a diversionary tactic meant to pull your attention away from their abusive behavior

and into a false image of them as a desirable, sought after person. It also leaves you questioning yourself

– if Mary did agree with Tom, doesn’t that mean that you must be wrong?

The truth is, narcissists love to “report back” falsehoods about others say about you,

when in fact, they are the ones smearing you.

To resist triangulation tactics, realize that whoever the narcissist is triangulating

with is also being triangulated by your relationship with the narcissist as well.

Everyone is essentially being played by this one person.

Reverse “triangulate” the narcissist by gaining support from a third party

that is not under the narcissist’s influence – and also by seeking your own validation.

15. Bait and feign innocence.

Toxic individuals lure you into a false sense of security simply to have a platform to showcase their cruelty.

Baiting you into a mindless, chaotic argument can escalate into a showdown rather quickly with someone

who doesn’t know the meaning of respect. A simple disagreement may bait you into responding politely initially,

until it becomes clear that the person has a malicious motive of tearing you down.

By “baiting” you with a seemingly innocuous comment disguised as a rational one, they can then begin to play with you.

Remember: narcissistic abusers have learned about your insecurities, the unsettling catchphrases that interrupt your confidence,

and the disturbing topics that reenact your wounds

– and they use this knowledge maliciously to provoke you.

After you’ve fallen for it, hook line and sinker, they’ll stand back and innocently ask whether you’re “okay”

and talk about how they didn’t “mean” to agitate you.

This faux innocence works to catch you off guard and make you believe that they truly didn’t intend to hurt you,

until it happens so often you can’t deny the reality of their malice any longer.

It helps to realize when you’re being baited so you can avoid engaging altogether.

Provocative statements, name-calling, hurtful accusations or unsupported generalizations, for example, are common baiting tactics.

Your gut instinct can also tell you when you’re being baited – if you feel “off” about a certain comment and continue to feel this way

even after it has been expanded on, that’s a sign you may need to take some space to reevaluate the situation before choosing to respond.

16. Boundary testing and hoovering.

Narcissists, sociopaths and otherwise toxic people continually try and test your boundaries

to see which ones they can trespass.

The more violations they’re able to commit without consequences, the more they’ll push the envelope.

That’s why survivors of emotional as well as physical abuse often experience even more severe incidents

of abuse each and every time they go back to their abusers.

Abusers tend to “hoover” their victims back in with sweet promises,

fake remorse and empty words of how they are going to change,

only to abuse their victims even more horrifically. In the abuser’s sick mind, this boundary testing

serves as a punishment for standing up to the abuse and also for being going back to it.

When narcissists try to press the emotional reset button, reinforce your boundaries even more strongly rather than backtracking on them.

Remember – highly manipulative people don’t respond to empathy or compassion.

They respond to consequences.

17. Aggressive jabs disguised as jokes.

Covert narcissists enjoy making malicious remarks at your expense.

These are usually dressed up as “just jokes” so that they can get away with saying appalling things

while still maintaining an innocent, cool demeanor.

Yet any time you are outraged at an insensitive, harsh remark, you are accused of having no sense of humor.

This is a tactic frequently used in verbal abuse.

The contemptuous smirk and sadistic gleam in their eyes gives it away, however

– like a predator that plays with its food, a toxic person gains pleasure from hurting you

and being able to get away with it. After all, it’s just a joke, right? Wrong.

It’s a way to gaslight you into thinking their abuse is a joke

– a way to divert from their cruelty and onto your perceived sensitivity.

It is important that when this happens, you stand up for yourself and make it clear that you won’t tolerate this type of behavior.

Calling out manipulative people on their covert put-downs may result in further gaslighting from the abuser

but maintain your stance that their behavior is not okay and end the interaction immediately if you have to.

18. Condescending sarcasm and patronizing tone.

Belittling and degrading a person is a toxic person’s forte and their tone of voice is only one tool in their toolbox.

Sarcasm can be a fun mode of communication when both parties are engaged,

but narcissists use it chronically as a way to manipulate you and degrade you.

If you in any way react to it, you must be “too sensitive.”

Forget that the toxic person constantly has temper tantrums every time their big bad ego is faced with realistic feedback

– the victim is the hypersensitive one, apparently.

So long as you’re treated like a child and constantly challenged for expressing yourself,

you’ll start to develop a sense of hypervigilance about voicing your thoughts and opinions without reprimand.

This self-censorship enables the abuser to put in less work in silencing you, because you begin to silence yourself.

Whenever you are met with a condescending demeanor or tone, call it out firmly and assertively.

You don’t deserve to be spoken down to like a child

– nor should you ever silence yourself to meet the expectation of someone else’s superiority complex.

19. Shaming.

“You should be ashamed of yourself” is a favorite saying of toxic people.

Though it can be used by someone who is non-toxic, in the realm of the narcissist or sociopath,

shaming is an effective method that targets any behavior or belief that might challenge a toxic person’s power.

It can also be used to destroy and whittle away at a victim’s self-esteem:

if a victim dares to be proud of something,

shaming the victim for that specific trait, quality or accomplishment can serve to diminish their sense of self and stifle any pride they may have.

Malignant narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths enjoy using your own wounds against you

– so they will even shame you about any abuse or injustice you’ve suffered in your lifetime as a way to retraumatize you.

Were you a childhood abuse survivor? A malignant narcissist or sociopath will claim that you must’ve done something to deserve it,

or brag about their own happy childhood as a way to make you feel deficient and unworthy.

What better way to injure you, after all, than to pick at the original wound? As surgeons of madness, they seek to exacerbate wounds, not help heal them.

If you suspect you’re dealing with a toxic person, avoid revealing any of your vulnerabilities or past traumas.

Until they’ve proven their character to you, there is no point disclosing information

that could be potentially used against you.

20. Control.

Most importantly, toxic abusers love to maintain control in whatever way they can.

They isolate you, maintain control over your finances and social networks,

and micromanage every facet of your life.

Yet the most powerful mechanism they have for control is toying with your emotions.

That’s why abusive narcissists and sociopaths manufacture situations of conflict out of thin air to keep you feeling off center and off balanced.

That’s why they chronically engage in disagreements about irrelevant things and rage over perceived slights. That’s why they emotionally withdraw, only to re-idealize you once they start to lose control. That’s why they vacillate between their false self and their true self, so you never get a sense of psychological safety or certainty about who your partner truly is.

The more power they have over your emotions, the less likely you’ll trust your own reality and the truth about the abuse you’re enduring. Knowing the manipulative tactics and how they work to erode your sense of self can arm you with the knowledge of what you’re facing and at the very least, develop a plan to regain control over your own life and away from toxic people.

 

"Each person is a cell in the body of Christ or humanity.
Each cell plays a part in either strengthening
or weakening the body of Christ/humanity"

~ Mikael Howerton

 

"People are in denial because they have been deceived
into believing that there is nothing they can do
and their voices and actions don't matter.

Time to prove them wrong .

We have come for such a time as this.

No more lines to draw in the sand,
for your back is against the wall.

The wall is freedom, the wall is your temple, your body!

Will you let another manage your freedom, your body,
your thoughts?

Liberty or death.

No need for violence, simply say no
to what you don't want or believe in.

The FATHER did not give you a spirit of fear!

Let your no, mean no and your yes, mean yes.

Time to stand together in one thought!

Where we go one we go all!

What ever you do to the least of your brother's
you do to GOD!

Your prayers have so far saved you from the web
they had encircled you in.

Keep praying like never before!!!

Focus on and be what you want to manifest in this life.

If you want love to be in the world,
let the thoughts of love live through you
and be yourself what you want to see in the world.

Those who only see darkness in the world,
see only darkness because they themselves
are not shining the light!

If you are shining light, love and kindness in the world
you will see light for you are displaying it!

Each of you spread light in the world or you spread darkness.

Choose this day which you will serve, be it light or be it darkness! There will be no lukewarm in the end!
Love you all,❤️❤️"

Mikael Howerton

 

"If someone were to come up to you
and start telling you something
and another person came up
and told you that they are lying
and refused to let them talk!
What would you do!
Is not FB and the media doing that to you.
The truth loves to debate,
the lie hates to debate
because it knows that in the end
what it stands on shall all crumble and fall"
Mikael Howerton @Mikaelhowerton

 

Each of us are the church/beth/temple.
God has given us the material/thoughts
to build our house/character.
We must choose wisely which bricks/thoughts we will build our house/character out of.
Will it be GODS material/thoughts/natural or Satan material/thoughts/artificial.
Think about it, everything that is artificial has to reconstruct natural material to exist.
Nature does not need to use something artificial to exist
.Each of us must decide what materials
we will use to build our houses out of.
What thoughts strengthen ones house or character,
What helps to strengthen the body What helps to build the body up?
Artificial material or natural material.
Notice it is harder and harder to get good quality
natural food and easy to get artificial.
It is harder and harder to have good deep one
on one conversations.
Do we want to meet real people or fake people.
Do you want a real living world., or a dead artificial world.
You have all been deceived into believing that the computer
is greater then the mind and machines can do the work better
then your body.
Little by little you are being robbed
and you don't even know it.
You are being told you are not good enough
and you need so many things.
What you need controls you.
The more you have within, the less you need without.
Will you follow the holy spirits/thoughts
or Satan's spirits/thoughts.
The choice is yours.......
Mikael Howerton

@13LiNESofSPiRiT
@dacase (www.gettingtrump.com) @realdonaldtrump
@hsretoucher @linwood1 @johndurham @sidneypowell @love17andyahweh