The Funniest Jokes On The Internet

alphabet - as, taught to kids today

alphabet - as, taught to kids today
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• Grandpaw Peter Koyote Reckon you could try flying a sign,
  Susan... Let folks know what's up... Like
  "Want Wings?... I Got 'Em!"
  
  
  Susan Lynne Schwenger i've given away the equiv. of 38+ YEARS
  of my work for FREE
  - and, i am beginning to ask myself for what ?
  it is absolutely amazing that some people will respond
  to a request for an artist for $1000/hr
  - and, won't respond to a request
  to teach me how to do something
  i don't know how to do;
  so; i won't have to ask someone else to help me
  \
  Susan Lynne Schwenger the information; i have is important
  Susan Lynne Schwenger all i will say; is this
  - it sure explains; the sorry state a lot of folks seem to be in
  - i've given, until i just can't give anymore
  - maybe that is why; i can just keep on getting and giving more !!!
  however, i don't want to park my ass into reverse karma either
  
• Susan Lynne Schwenger taking without giving - is NOT very circular
  
  Grandpaw Peter Koyote Hey, I give my "work" away for free all the dang time,
  for many long years now...
  and somehow manage to get by...
  Gifts are meant to be shared, of course... not marketed in neat lil packages...
  It's a fine line we dance, in order to get by here...
  Focus on what's important, what's real...
  
  The rest does come...
  sometimes from the least likely of places...
  Maybe have to do a new vid on "Getting By"... Maybe...
  
  Susan Lynne Schwenger
  - no more asking for help, i XXXX !!!
  
  if it is meant to be, it is up to ME
  
  ALWAYS just wanted someone, somewhere to show me,
  something, i do NOT know,
  instead, i have to just figure out how to know it, myself

 

Do you fart in bed ? If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I’ll pray for you.
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning
when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out.
Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep,
she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back,
she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
\Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream
and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes!
After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.”
“What do you mean?” asked his wife.
“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out,
and today it finally happened,
but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers.
I think I got most of them back in…….............…..”


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Jorgelito - Posted Oct 27th

Re: Grandpaw way of seeing
ALWAYS just wanted someone, somewhere to show me,
something, i do NOT know,
instead, i have to just figure out how to know it, myself

You have pondered the injustice being served you, I think, for some time. But it looks like it's just energy now. What a relief it must be.
Everyday I think of navigating the freeways here (that requires responsibility in what I do -- not others)
Being sovereign and master of myself (even when someone cuts in or gives me the finger)
It not about equal share of give and take; it's about be true (and not having an accident!)

 

see thread; http://www.thuban.spruz.com/forums/...astp=1&id=326A71CF-0A5D-4148-B918-D6251A8A9B9

 

Jorgelito - Posted Oct 28th

I won't go there!

 

Kind of like The Willy-Gates Files lol